Thursday, September 9, 2010
Day of Reckoning- Restraining Orders Can Be a Beautiful Thing
It started a couple of weeks ago when I'd written the blog about my first love. I wasn't so much mad that she'd commented (I expected it to be honest), I was more so pissed that she texted me at 3 in the morning when she didn't like what I'd written to her as a response. I should have ignored it, but this chick's arrogance irritates me to no end (I don't understand how a chick that looks like a fat man can think so highly of herself). Anyway, stupidly, I texted her back, again reminding her that she's a waste of time. Later in the day, I hit my ex to tell him to get his bitch. Later, long story short, I got a text from her, pretending to be him. In the text s/he invited me out for drinks after sounding depressed. One of the text said no sex, just drinks. Me being one for free alcohol, I figured why not. She later texted me and said that she just knew that I wanted the dude. That was the moment that I knew it was time to get some outside help.
For the last four years, I've been called, texted, emailed and even stalked to the point where she'd started going to my beautician. She'd emailed my sister, my best friend and my homeboy. I'd tried to be nice to her in the past, I've told her that I forgave her, I thanked her for taking my ex off of my hands, and the bitch just wouldn't go away. Every time she got pissed at dude (about every 3 months) I'd get contacted again. At one point she sent me her address and told me to be there to come pick dude up (WTH?!)
I didn't really realize how nutty she was until I'd started collecting evidence for the restraining order. I'd thought about the amount of times and ways that she's tried to contact me in the last 4 years and I'd reached about 20 different run-ins of phone calls, text messages, or contacting my friends and family. I'd asked Portia to write me a note for the judge. Portia told me something that I didn't even know about until the other day. I knew she'd contacted Portia, but what Portia told me was in the email sent a chill down my spine. In the email Portia described the strange rambling email she'd gotten where someone said that they were a fan of hers and her father's, but then the long rant went on to say that her show's cohost (me) was a bad cohost and that she would make a better cohost and that they should be friends and hang out. WHAT. THE. HELL?! That was the point when I'd seriously gotten a little scared. She'd emailed a professional contact of mine (not knowing that we were good friends as well) and basically tried to replace me. She's already friends with my ex-best friend and has my ex-boyfriend and now she's trying to squeeze me out on my radio gig? It reeked of Single White Female. Portia later looked up the email address from the email and it sent her to Chloe, who'd also sent her a Facebook invite a few days prior, which she'd deleted.
Also while collecting evidence, I talked to Pookie and asked him to write a letter for me, since he was there with me on my birthday when she'd texted me from David's phone last year. That's when Pookie told me that Chloe had emailed him, talking shit about me after I'd been willing to meet with David. Once Pookie told me that, I knew that the restraining order was not only desired but necessary.
I knew that night right after her texting me from his phone that a restraining order needed to be my next move. In the post where I'd written about seeing people going in and out of the courthouse to get married, I actually saw them while I was there to get the restraining order. I didn't even realize that the day was old girl's birthday, but all I could think was how poetic that was.
I was pretty confident going into court. I'd had documents from 3 of the people she's contacted, I had a note from my father, who is a psychologist and is slightly worried that she may flip and harm me, and I got a note from a homegirl of mine who I'd met and thought was a plant sent by Chloe and talked about how 'noid this chick has made me with all of her exploits. I'd also had a note from another friend of mine who I was staying with when she'd contacted me some years ago. I was ready to go to war. I knew she would come in there limping and claiming that it was I that was contacting her and not vice versa. The case is so insane because anyone that knows the heartache and headache that my ex put me through knows very well that I've got no intention of going back to him. I still don't understand how me being willing to meet for drinks with someone can instantly indicate that I want to sleep with them. Pookie hangs with his ex on occasion and despite she and I not being fond of one another, I've got faith that within the last 3 years, she's comfortably moved on with her life.
I'd also brought my friend Sky with me. She'd contacted Sky as well and he was with me on a few occasions when she'd started calling and texting me. I was ready. I was pretty confident until we'd walked around to the front of the courthouse. I grew nervous. My stomach started to turn. Could I do this? What would I feel like if I had to stare her down? What crazy lie would she pull out of her ass about me? My game plan was to let her talk and then hang herself. That pretty much worked for me the last time I had to go to court over the chick that Pookie had dealt with. That chick talked so much that the judge knew she was full of shit and the case was pretty much dismissed. I imagined Chloe going in there and trying to question my credibility and talking about when and how Pookie and I got together and other irrelevant shit. I knew that she wouldn't bring my ex with her because he'd hate to look like an asshole by standing by the crazy bitch in court. I knew she wouldn't bring her best friend, because I know that the best friend has told her crazy ass to quit contacting me too. On the way to court I'd questioned Sky and asked him if he'd be willing to still stick by me even if David was there. Sky said that he'd be willing to tell the truth, which is that Chloe is a nuisance and needs to move on from me. I love Sky.
We got to the courtroom and I grew more nervous. I looked around to the 15 people there and she wasn't one of them. HALLELUJAH!! I knew that with my evidence, Sky, and not having to counteract her crazy shit, the restraining order would be in the bag. When the time came, I went before the judge. She asked me to say my name and I was sworn in. The judge asked how I knew her. I said that she's my exboyfriend's current girlfriend. I waited a moment for her to take it in (I've learned to do that for dramatic effect, as people would typically expect his exgirlfriend to stalk his current girlfriend, which is not the case here). The judge looked perplexed and asked me to repeat it. I told her "YES, I'm the ex, she's the current." Then I went on to mention the numerous ways and times that she's contacted me and my family throughout the years and I'd mentioned that I live with Pookie and he and I share a child. I mentioned that I have gotten into the habit of having to tell my professional contacts that if they get a strange emails or phone calls regarding me they should ignore it. I mentioned how humiliating it is to have my friends and family be harassed for no other reason than being acquainted with me. I mentioned how she obviously thought the whole thing was a joke because she texted me after she got served, saying she thought it would be "fun" and she couldn't wait to see me in court. I told the judge that I've prayed for her, forgiven her, been nice to her, but she still won't beat it. I ended my testimony by stating that she isn't mentally balanced as evidenced by her stint in a mental facility for various infractions. The judge said she'd heard enough and granted me the restraining order, valid for a full year. I didn't even need to show her my numerous letters, nor did she need to hear from Sky.
Later on I talked to Portia about the whole thing. I told her that I think that old girl didn't show up because she'd backed herself into a corner that she knew she couldn't get out of. She'd sent plenty of text messages and made herself known to too many of my friends and family to deny any wrong doing. While there I'd heard the judge and court clerks talk about some other cases that had been reset and I knew that if old girl simply had a scheduling conflict, she'd have reset it. I was relieved. I also said to Portia that if that chick contacts me or any of my friends, family, or coworkers, I have every intention of having her ass arrested. Portia agreed that more than likely she'd thought the whole thing was a joke initially, but as time went on and the court case grew near, she'd realized that she'd gotten herself into a huge heap of shit that she wasn't ready or able to dig herself out of, so she knew her best bet was to lay low and slink away. I don't know and I don't care, but I'm FREE. I'm going to commence writing to my heart's content. No more skanks on my blog! Just me, my laptop and my thoughts!!!