Friday, September 25, 2015


Life is odd and beautiful. I knew I'd be embarking on a journey, but I had no clue it would lead me here. I've met so many people in the last few months, that I almost have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. So yeah, I'm still at Clark Atlanta University. I tried to transfer to Georgia State University and I was a tad butt hurt when they declined my application. By that point I'd already done 6 classes at CAU, so I knew there was no option but to stay the course.

So yeah, I'm still with Ted. If you want to say "with." I'll say we're still close and he's still my heart. But for some reason I prefer to keep my thoughts on our relationship as casual. I do love him. But since we both know there's no wedding bells any time soon, we're careful to not go have titles and all of that. I know who he is, he knows who I am. My close friends are aware of who he is. The only thing is that he works at a college near my college's campus and some of my classmates and colleagues know him, so I make it a point to not make our relationship known to them. Not that we have a "relationship" anyway.

Next, last summer, I FINALLY achieved my dream of meeting Tevin Campbell. It was absolutely unreal. He was humble, funny, charming, cute, all of that. Naturally I got a pic.

I spent the next week on cloud 9 after that happened. But shortly thereafter, I had to get my head back in the game. This was early August and school started school and I needed an intern site. The one I'd had previously been selected for told me that they couldn't take me after all. I went into action, looking through my school's catalog for one that would be close in proximity to my home or school. I called a few and sent out a few applications. Nothing. Eventually I found one that was near campus and headed by the family of a local Civil Rights Movement hero. I can't really say names just yet because there are unfortunately a few people that stay trying to throw salt into my success, but let's just say that this position was big. I went in for the interview and nailed it!

With this particular position, I work at one of Atlanta's worst alternative schools, along with meetings with some of Atlanta's biggest heavy hitters. I'm still floored at the opportunity this has afforded me. Such as this awkward pic of me at an incredible moment.

I was able to attend dinner with Ambassador Andrew Young, and even personally ask him about some of my career and educational options. Freaking priceless! Plus I'm scheduled to be part of a major political unveiling on Monday. I remember a few years back that I'd decided that I wanted and needed to be a tad more politically tuned in. I didn't know how it would happen. I thought I'd start attending city council meetings, but my schedule never allowed it. Yet slowly, I'm building a name and connections to major players. All by being patient and persistent. I'm letting go of people that don't mean any good for me. And by doing that I'm opening my door to the opportunities to get me where I'm trying to go!


Sunday, September 13, 2015

Revisionist History

I had lunch with a friend earlier today. During our time together, he'd told me that he'd started writing about his life and out of respect, he allowed his mother to see what he'd written so far. He said how she was bothered by his story and felt that he didn't do enough to paint her in a positive light. Essentially, she wanted him to rewrite history, rather than to acknowledge her faults as a mother. My friend respects his mother, but at the same time, he had to remind her that she wasn't Claire Huxtable and he shouldn't be charged with making up stories to make her look or feel good. I told my friend that I completely understand and that was a large part of why I never attended my undergraduate graduation. Truthfully, I felt that neither of my parents did much to help me as a I struggled to get that degree and I refused to allow them a platform to puff out their chests and boasts about my accomplishment. So I stayed home and didn't mention the graduation to either of them until the ceremony had passed.

Later on, I went with my best friend Sky to the mall. As always, we made a lot of noise and I enjoyed embarrassing him. While there, he ran into a female I'll call Amber. Amber looked up at him and quickly hugged him. I recognized Amber and reached in to hug her, until she put up her arm and told me that she wasn't dealing with me after my birthday celebration. Er? I'll tell you a bit of how I came to know Amber.

About 10 years ago, I was in San Diego with my younger sibling, when she introduced me to Amber. Amber told me that she'd considered moving to Atlanta, and I told her that whenever she decided to move, she could come on out and crash with me. Fast forward about 3 months later, she calls me out of nowhere and says that she hopes to come to Atlanta within a couple of months. I told her that sounded swell. A few weeks after that phone call, she told me that she planned to move out in a few weeks. At that moment I was a tad hesitant. By that particular point, I'd just gotten rid of a sycophant who was sleeping on my couch and I was dealing with my breakup from David. I really just needed to be alone and deal with what I was going through. A few days later I got a call that she was 20 minutes outside of Atlanta and needed my address. HUH?! I couldn't. I sure as hell didn't want to. I needed to be alone. I was trying to balance work, school, and my emotions. Taking in a new individual at that point in time wasn't something I wanted or needed. But nevertheless, there she was with nothing but the clothes on her back. She had no job, no friends, no money and no family in the city. I was it. So despite it all, I let her stay.

Time went on and Amber and I became really close. She was around in part during my pregnancy and I introduced her to lots of people and helped her get to know the party scene. The roommate she moved in with later on was because I introduced them.

So here we are, in the middle of the mall, and she accused me of being fake the last time I'd seen her. Thinking back, when she came over for my birthday, she brought friends. They arrived, I offered them drinks and food, you know, normal host shit. Everyone in her party seemed to be enjoying themselves with their guests, so I left them alone the whole night, but after checking to make sure that all was well. So what the hell was old girl talking about?

I assured her that had no problems with her and assumed all was well. Sky assured her that if I'd had problems with her, he'd have known it before anyone else (true). I asked her why she didn't bring it to my attention then and she claimed that she didn't want to ruin my birthday. I asked why she didn't mention it later on, and she said that she didn't want to bother with it anymore. What the hell? I even apologized if she felt that my behavior was off (even though it wasn't) and promised her we were cool. Then the bitch threw in some shit about me not getting along with my sister and said that was obviously why. I'll say this- I happen to be dealing with tooth pain and lockjaw at the moment. And perhaps if I weren't focused on the fact that it now takes me an hour to eat a small salad, I may have been more willing to neck punch her for that comment.

I was livid. She walked away as if she checked me. That bitch had some damned nerve. She showed up at my front door, during a really hard time in my life, on a wing and a prayer, and I took her in, fed her, introduced her to people and essentially created a home for her as she went through her divorce and THIS was the attitude she threw. WHAT THE HELL?! I thought back to her admitting to me that she'd been diagnosed with anxiety a few months back and that she felt that my cousin didn't want her at his home last Christmas and I had to assure her that it was all in her head. So I tried to give her a pass based on the anxiety issue. But the level of disrespect that she just showed me for no reason at all was some next level bull.

For me to bend over backwards to look out for her and be accused of being "fake" and then not even allow me the chance to explain myself or apologize really rubbed me the wrong way. The same person who came at me sideways today is the same woman who would laugh with me about how crazy it was to land on my doorstep when and how she did. She'd always said how much she understands how much it took for me to let her in when she was a virtual stranger and felt that act was a testament to who and what I am as a person.

So what exactly was today? Was I seriously talked down to and accused of being fake for no real reason at all? So history means nothing. She somehow completely rewrote my display of who I am and how I am. I let her stay with me for months out of the blue, but when she's invited to my home to celebrate my birthday, I supposedly blow her off. Damn. Folks really do forget, don't they?