Monday, February 9, 2009

chris brown, i'm in your corner

i'm gonna sound really anti-women here, but this thing with chris brown has me really feeling bad for the guy. he and rihanna got into it a couple of days ago, she got a little bruising (and for the record, so did he) and the police got called. so now chris brown looks like senor douchebag, while rihanna looks like the poor little victim. for the record, i don't think they got into a fight, nor do i think he punched her or anything. i think that words were exchanged and she knew exactly what to say or do to make him lose his cool. i'm not going to speculate on who hit who first, because either way its not cool. but here's how i think it happened:
1) they were in the car when they started arguing
2) some how or another, they started shoving and yelling (not punching though)
3) he realizes that people are around and it looks bad for him so he leaves the scene
4) people in the vicinity see her looking red and bruised (she is light as hell) so they call the police
5) she talks to the police because she's mad as hell and she's like "hell yeah he did it! go get him! i'll testify!"
6) the next day she realized that they were BOTH at fault and that pressing charges would be more trouble than it was worth
now if you look at the situation like that (and according to reports, that's exactly how it happened) chris isn't a bad guy, they are just two people that lost their cool. but i really hate that in these kinds of situations, the men are depicted as abusive dicks, when many times that isn't the case. i guess i can speak from experience because i've not only witnessed it, i've done it. my older sister is a sick motherfucker that gets her shits and giggles by making people lose their cool. that's part of the reason she and i don't speak and i've made the decision to cut her out of my life. i've seen her pick and pull and call people everything she could think of. she thinks its cute. all of the dudes that eventually left her crazy ass alone agree that she's a one way ticket to jail. at least she's woman enough to admit that she starts the fights, but in the eyes of the public she'd still look like the victim. she once hit her ex in the face and separated his jaw. now if he lost his mind and slapped her ass, is he really in the wrong? me thinks not.
now for my own confession. deen and i have had physical altercations. i try to be pretty cool and walk away, but deen has a way of saying the ONE THING that can make me cut loose and wail on his ass. we've both walked away bloody at times. most of the times, i've hit him first. its not something i'm proud of. nor is he. many of my homegirls say "leave him!" but i know that he doesn't come home and hit me or anything like that. many disagreements are held amicably, while others escalate.
i agree that any man that beats his woman because he thinks he has the right to do so should have his balls removed. but in those cases, not all women are victims and not ALL men are villains.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

revenge is sweet a.k.a. if i won the lottery

those of you that know me find that i'm sweet and easy going. those of you that know me WELL will say that i'm vengeful as hell. frankly, both sets of people would be right. i've taken some real hits in my life doing stuff for other people. i'm the chick that would wake up at 4 a.m. to go get a stranded friend off the side of the road. i'm the girl that would give the last $20 in my pocket to a friend that needed groceries for herself and her kids. i'm the friend that someone can call when she gets pregnant and she doesn't know what to do. i'm the friend that will remind you that you're beautiful, no matter what your bitter ass ex says.

with all of that said, i should state that i am probably one of the most vengeful women i know. i am willing to spend the rest of my life waiting to do harm to someone that has done wrong to me. some people see others acting in a vengeful way and they think its foolish. i see people acting in a vengeful way and all i can think is "that person probably had that bag full of dog poo coming." one of the reasons that i grew to become as vengeful as i am is because over and over again, people have taken my kindness for weakness. while i was pregnant, a former friend of mine fell on hard times and he needed somewhere to stay so i let him sleep on my couch. at the time i had a few extra dollars, so when my friend asked to borrow $200 to put down a deposit on an apartment, i gave it to him. so imagine my surprise when about 4 months later when i was pregnant and broke to the point that i was unable to afford food, when i asked dude about the $200, he gave me his ass to kiss. when he was broke and on my couch and eating my food, i was his best friend. once i was at my lowest, dude acted like i didn't even matter. what made me REALLY hate that cat was that he had the gall to tell my homegirl that he had the bread to pay me back, he simply didn't "feel like it." he paid back $100, but i had to stalk him for that. i even suggested that he give me $20 each time he got paid on every friday, but he wouldn't even do that so i could buy some vegetables. i was pregnant and diabetic and that sonuvabitch didn't even care about the life of my unborn child enough to help pay me back so that i could buy groceries. to be fair, another time i lent some money to another friend of mine and money for him never picked back up, so i forgot about the money. i know that he needed it badly at the time and when i was pregnant if he had the money to give to me, he would have done it quickly. for him, i consider the loan forgotten. i have since decided that i'm not going to lend out any more money. but how do i feel about the fat fucker that refused to pay me money that he easily could have? i am not lying when i tell you that if i heard he was stabbed in the streets tomorrow, i would laugh haughtily at the universe giving him exactly what he deserved. yeah, that's how i do.

recently i saw one of the deepest and most thoughtful forms of revenge i may have ever seen. its the clip of fiddy cent taking rick ross' baby mama out and getting her to talk shit about her baby daddy, rapper, rick ross.

now this is in-freaking-genius. i'm not even a fiddy cent fan, but dammit, this man is not to be screwed with. it started when rick ross started talking bad about the drama that fiddy was having with his baby mama. so to show rick that he meant business, fiddy went straight to the horse's mouth- rick ross' baby mama. she actually sat down and (on tape!) admitted that the jewelry rick ross wears is rented and the cars he rolls in are leased. so to show how big he's rolling, fiddy took rick's babymama shopping for pure bullshit. what's a chick that lives in florida going to do with a fur coat? yet fiddy had the cash to drop while rick is only renting the finer thing in life. now for those that don't understand in terms of loyalty, baby mamas/daddies are right up under wives/husbands. what fiddy did is wrong. purely wrong. but dammit, that man is GOOD. did you notice that she was drinking vitamin water, the drink that helped make fiddy rich beyond belief? CLASSIC.

fiddy's form of vengeance reminds me a lot of what i plan to do if i ever hit the lotto. now i should say first that my plan is for all of my friends that have children, give them some cash and then set up some trust funds for the youngins. i'd also buy deen's aunt a house (actually, i'd have one built for her). i would also take my loved ones on an all expense paid carnival cruise. i'd rent the whole boat out. but there would be another crew of people i'd take. i'd take the closest family members and friends of all my enemies i could find. i'd pay for absolutely EVERYTHING. entertainment, food, alcohol, strippers, drugs, that cruise ship would be a floating sodom and gomorrah. yeah, we'd probably all go straight to hell, but a week of being on that cruise ship would be well worth eternal damnation. and the best part of it would be that i'd be staring in the eyes of my enemies' mama and 'nem the whole time. i even asked myself, about the possiblity of the family members not being able to afford to take a week off of work for the sin cruise. i'd simply pay them double whatever they would have made at work that week. so basically i'd be paying them to come on vacation with me and have a ball. and the only thing i'd ask of them is that they take plenty of pictures with me while we laugh and have a good time. and for the rest of my enemies' lives i'd periodically mail them pictures of me laughing it up in the middle of the pacific ocean, surrounded by sin, having a ball with the people they love the most. i would even hire a personal assistant to make sure that i am implanting myself in the lives of my enemies when i'm not even thinking about it. and just be sure that i'm implanted in their lives, i'd mail checks and pay bills for that family member. can you imagine your mother suddenly loving the person you hate the most because they went on vacation and they paid off your mom's house? and you can tell yourself that your mother wouldn't go on vacation with your nemesis, but let's be real. of course she'd go. her thought would be that she's had a long hard life and if someone wants to treat her nice, she'd let them. but in case i couldn't crack their mother, i'd go after brothers, sisters, fathers, anyone that should be loyal. people that they'll most likely have to stare at for every christmas and thanksgiving until they're dead. yep, i plan to make my mark.
and that is why the universe will never be kind enough to let me win the lottery.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

14 kids under 8-years-old: this bitch should have her uterus RIPPED OUT

i'm a bit of a news buff and most things don't make me stop and discuss them (unless its about me being sick of barack obama) but this crap is just WRONG. for those of you that don't know what i'm talking about, i'm talking about the case of nadya suleman, a woman that is unmarried and unable to have children on her own so she got invitro fertilization to get pregnant 5 times. her children are ages 7,6,5,3, 2-year-old twins and this bitch just had octuplets. yeah, 8 more kids. most of the women i know with children are unmarried, so i'm not concerned about it from that standpoint aside from the fact that at least a husband in the picture would help to feed, clothe, house, discipline, and educate all 14 kids. nadya was living with her parents who helped her to take care of the first 6 children. one of the children was also autistic. and mama is now fed up and told her she's on the own with all 14 kids. her mother said that the chick is obsessed with having children and that her shrink told her to put nadya out on her own to encourage her to stop having children, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.




just this morning my son woke me in a fit of fussiness and followed me into the kitchen where i tried to get him something to eat. the boy threw the food down and continued to cry. i was so frustrated. he lifted his little arms in the air for me to lift him and i realized that he just wanted to be cuddled. so i gladly held him for a few minutes to calm him down. he actually went back to sleep in my arms. imagine having to give that much attention to 14 babies. so far my son's biggest accomplishment is his ability to climb out of his playpen (i'm not too happy about that, but that's a different blog entirely) but i'm already thinking about private school. deen has mentioned that we don't have the money for it, but i'm already thinking about scholarships and whatnot to ensure that my baby has the best education possible. for the friends that have children, we often talk about wanting more but we realize that its a lot easier to give one child the life we want for them (tutors, summer camps, playing instruments, little league sports, dance lessons, etc.) but if you can barely afford to feed 14 children, how the hell are you going to take care to make sure that their quality of life is as good as it can be?

i just talked to my gay male best friend about the issue and he pretty much feels that its done so whatever. and i told him that its easy to say "its not a big deal so just move on," when you don't have children. but when you have one (or more), you see how much responsibility just a few of them are, you know that what she did was downright SELFISH. its bad enough when chickenheads are laying on their backs and popping out baby after baby with no care for themselves or the children their having a decent father figure around, but this chick's GOAL was to have more babies (as opposed to a child being an afterthought to screwing some random dude). didn't she think that with one autistic child, there's a STRONG chance of even more autistic children? and who's supposed to pay the medical bills for all of these kids? the state. how is she going to feed all of these children? the state. its hard as hell to work when you have a few kids, so you know day care for 8 of them is going to be murder. so what is she more than likely going to do? sit on her ass and let the STATE pay her to stay home and take care of the kids. i'm not opposed to welfare taking care of kids when its needed, but i am opposed to the state taking care of this chick's kids when she went out of her way to have them when she knew ahead of time that someone else was already taking care of the ones she had.

and now to add insult to injury this chick is supposed to be interviewed by oprah and diane sawyer and i'm hearing her asking price is between $2m and $3m. so now this chick wants people to PAY to hear her trifling story?