Friday, July 1, 2016
I have no clue what the hell has happened, but I've been on some new shit lately. Feels good too. As of late, I've gotten around to finally dropping dead weight. No, not this stupid stubborn 25 pounds. Bad people. Well not bad people, just people that are bad for me.
It may have started with my mentee. Been working with Shorty since she was 12. She's now 19 and just graduated high school and on her way to college. I should be proud of her. But the fact is that within the last few months, she's become a grade A CUNT. I've gone out of my way to help her and I even attended her graduation (not an easy feat for me) but she's gotten to be so snotty and obnoxious that I ignore her text messages now. Not that I want to, but seriously. I just don't have the energy for it.
Next up was my young colleague from school. I like him and he's a great guy. But he goes hot and cold. Sometimes we talk and our hands are all over each other. Other times, he makes me feel like a perv for wanting some alone time. Huh? Last time he contacted me and acted stank, I simply texted him nicely and told him that we can't be friends any more.
Third was a guy I was liking and he's also looking to run for senate soon. We had a great rapport, lots of sexual chemistry (although we never got it on), he was affectionate and we'd even talked in passing about the idea of marriage. He was also a Seventh Day Adventist. Not an issue, but truthfully, I got sick of us not being able to hit the streets on Fridays and Saturdays, but I sucked it up because I liked him and saw a potential future with him. But then one day it hit me. This motherfucker can make appointments for meetings with mayors and local leaders, but I got no appointments at all. As if I was supposed to be ready whenever he called me. Then one day his ass just up and disappeared and THEN had the nerve to get lost on my birthday. And on top of that, he hit me up a week later as if things were kosher. He was even surprised that his number had been erased from my phone. I told him point blank that he made no time for me and he wasn't serious so I bounced. No hard feelings, I'm just no here for this. Dude was deflated, but he understood.
After all of that, I had to reflect. What happened to me? I'm not sure, but it feels damned good. For the very first time in my life, I'm eradicating the time wasters and the energy drainers. For the first time, not only am I doing away with them, but I don't feel guilty for it. I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation or a conversation. I'm just looking at situations and people. And they either work for me, or they don't. I'm apathetic. I'm loving it. Although, cutting my young colleague seemed harsh, I needed it. He's so young. Great spirit. Sometimes I think I should have taken the time to explain exactly why I cut him off (my text to him was vague, but succinct). But still, its over. I'm done. I'm growing. I'm finally becoming the woman I'm meant to be.