Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Cursing at God- Part 2
In my defense, I purposely haven't been posting since my last post. I didn't forget about the blog challenge, I just wanted to leave the last post up at the top of the blog as a show of solidarity with her. Since then, things went a bit further. I had to take her to a psychiatrist the other day. While in the waiting room, her foster mother showed me writings she'd made where she declared that she wished she were dead. She said that she wanted to be home with her mother beating her because she deserved it. She called herself stupid. The only reason I didn't cry right there was because truthfully I was literally all cried out from the previous day. Nevertheless, I was heartbroken. I couldn't believe that such a little person could have such heavy emotions. The more I worked with her, the more I knew that I need to go to school to get my master's degree so that I could save more children like her.
Last night, I got a call from her foster mother. Apparently, her dumbass of a lawyer gave her some (wrong) information that sent her off the deep end. She was playing at the edge of the driveway and there were fears that she was going to throw herself into traffic. The foster mother could have physically restrained her, but as a foster mother, she couldn't legally do it. While I was on the phone with her she's heard one of her daughers say that Keisha was in the street. I grabbed my purse and headed out.
I cut a 30 minute trip in half getting there. I sped all over the road, cursing other drivers. They'd never know what I felt. How much I needed to be there, to hold her and comfort her and tell her to stay here if for no one else, for ME. I arrived at the home as a police officer was leaving. He told me that she was safely inside. I walked up to her and she was cool as a cucumber. I took her for a short drive so that we could talk, but she was silent. When we got back, I again spoke with the foster mother.
She said that when she'd spoken to Keisha's biological grandmother, she was told that this particular episode, it was nothing compared to what she'd done before. The foster mother was convinced that the little girl simply wanted to die. She was perplexed. After a bit of talking, it was decided that the little girl should be hospitalized. Her foster mother then told me that of everyone that has worked with her to help the little girl, I' the only one that made any sense. Wow. I've only been on my job for 8 months and this woman that has been a foster mother for 20 years says something like that about me. As I drove home, my heart raced. That was when it finally clear to me- social work is in my blood. I am now doing what the universe says I should be doing. I will soon be going to school to go further and help more children.
Today I contacted the foster mother to tell her that there had been a change in the office and that a team would be handling Keisha's case, not me. She then told me that the little girl is now in a hospital and that she'd gotten word that Keisha would not be going back to her mother's home. Apparently, they've looked at the fact that she'd rather kill herself than go home, as a sign that her mother wouldn't be the best choice for her. I inquired what hospital she was at so that I could go visit. Just because she's no longer my case load does not mean I've got to stop caring about her.
So anyway, perhaps somebody, somewhere up there heard the pleas of us few small people and decided to give the girl the best start possible from this point on. I don't know if I believe in God. But if S/He exist, I'd like to thank It.