My homie "Nikki" hit me today and we caught up on old times. Nikki is one of those friends whose life I like to live vicariously through. She is beautiful, smart, funny and men are drawn to her. She doesn't have any children and I often joke with her about how the Facebook updates of the super-single-fabulous-sistas always says that they're out of down in Miami or Orlando while the women that have children are always updating that they're about to kill their kids.
Anyway, Nik told me that she's got a guy that's trying to get with her. She's already told him that he has to court her (I am so not mad at her for demanded that he woo her). The only problem is that the clown has a crazy baby mama. Nik told me that a few years back the woman called her with some crazy drama and they "teamed up" and went in on the dude. Nik fell back, but she remained friends with the dude. Fast forward a few years, and he's now wanting her. Lo and behold, over the weekend, old girl called her again. Nik wasn't going for the bull and told her to get lost. The chick called her repeatedly over the weekend hoping for some mess but, ever the lady, my homie wasn't hearing it.
Once again, because of that crazy bitch Chloe, I was well equipped to tell my friend what the deal was (although truthfully, Nik was handling it well on her own anyway). I told her that first off, if she's still doing all of that mess after the kid is nearly 10, he's got to be doing something to encourage it. He may have had a moment where he told old girl that they had a chance in the future during a soft moment and old girl took it and ran. I mean, seriously, its easiest for a man to wife up his baby mom. Hell, they're a ready made family. So I can imagine a man kicking it with his child and the mother and having a good time, and him saying to her in passing that the day wasn't so bad and maybe if things like that keep up, they can be together in the future. Now to him, he may have just been talking shit, but to HER what he said was "if you stick around long enough, eventually we'll get married."
Nik did understand that somewhere or somehow, someone was lying, but frankly she wasn't going to waste time figuring out who it was. I told her my own stories of what it's like to get text messages from someone pretending to be your friend. I told her how my ex's baby mom calls me periodically from blocked numbers, and how she's come on my blog commenting. I even told her how sad it is that at one point she even sent me her ADDRESS hoping that I'd come pick up my ex. I empathized with her struggle. Baby mama's think they're so slick that they'll do some ignorant mess where the pretend to be your friend, only to try to pump you for info to then use it against you. My friend marveled at how a woman in her 30's could be so childish. All I could do was nod in agreement.
I'm just glad that Nik is cool and smart enough to not feed into the drama. She kept saying that if the man hadn't married his baby mom in nearly 10 years, he's obviously not going to. It's like Nik is nearly thinking for me at this point. I told her try a chick who's chasing a guy for 15 years and still no ring. Nik also felt that it was sad that the chick obviously went in on EVERY CHICK dude ever tried to get with. She commented on how selfish she was to not even allow him to be happy with another woman. I guess that's where I can say that emotionally I'm far more mature than my ex's baby mama, because at least with Pookie, I love him enough to let him seriously persue a relationship with another woman. It wasn't easy, but there have been times where I've stepped aside and allowed him the freedom to date another woman and I granted him my blessing. A woman that finds it necessary to fight every woman a man likes obviously has insecurity issues to battle.
So anyway, Nikki is willing to see where things are going, but only if dude gets his house in order first. It's kind of sad. Those ignorant skeezers are so insecure and sad, they make things hard for us real women. Sigh.