Thursday, October 23, 2008

why won't men share the damned remote control?!

i'm sitting here with the baby daddy, watching the b.e.t. awards. i'll complain about this crap later, but on to my current rant. i love this man, i truly do. he's taught me how to love unconditionally and to accept people for who and what they are. he was married before and i have no doubt that one day he'll make a wonderful husband again.
so what is it about this mutha phucka that will NOT allow him to share the damned remote with me?! seriously. we'll watch television and he'll land on a channel, but 25 seconds into a show, he'll turn. never fails. a host on a tv show will say something like "and the winner of the $25,000 grand prize is-" *SWITCH!* or "markeesha, you want to know if donqwavious or andrell is the father of your daughter, lontravia. markeesha, the father of lontravia is- *SWITCH!* or judge judy will lay into two equally stupid parties, and you're just dying to know who she's about to side with. "judgement is awarded to-" *SWITCH!*. it wouldn't irritate me so much if the shows weren't on just long enough to get me hooked. but they always are. i could even deal with him switching during a commercial break. and he switches in the middle of the shows. it irritates the hell out of me.
why can't i hold the dang remote? its not like i'm going to turn to lifetime or something. sometimes before he comes home, i'll caress the remote control and truly relish my time with it. i kiss it and i explain to the remote that i love it too, but my custody is limited to when deen goes to work. because i know that once he comes home, my time with it is up. how wonderful it is to control the volume on a television without having to ask someone to turn it up or down. i can actually watch a show from beginning to end. i am able to focus on just one program instead of watching 3 or 4 at a time. while in my custody, football and espn takes a backseat to the things that i actually want to watch.
women, we need to end this. i would say let's withhold sex from them until they learn to share the remote, but frankly, that would keep us from getting ours, and i'm not one to promote any women being sexually frustrated. i don't know how we can solve this, but we need to. and i know that i'm not the only woman to deal with this, because i had an ex that did it also. is it a control thing? why am i asking, of course it is. does it make them feel good to know that they're subjecting the rest of the house to whatever the hell they want to watch? i know for a fact that it starts early too, because my nephew has controlled any television in the room with him since he was an embryo. no one was bold enough to turn from barney while he commanded the television. it wasn't worth the screaming fit he'd have. same with deen. i can get the remote if i really want to. the question is, is it worth the hassle?


Just Jasmine said...

I'm convinced it is in the Y chromosone.

It's really not worth teh hassle during the games, but when the game isn't on we need to compromise. I say withold food, not sex

Anonymous said...

Girl...Sometimes we feel the remote control has POWER over us..Sorry...I am going to start following you because you are the truth...

Neverendingchase said...

Girl! Hide it! Let's see who wants to get up and change the channel fifty-'leven times then! He'll be lost. U'll be victorious! But then, u'll have to get up and change the channel. Do iike I do, just camp out in front of the t.v. and change it at will. Ooo-Ooo you what would be funny, get one of those universal remotes and when he changes the channel, change it right back. Ha! That'll learn him!

Brothers Blog said...

Withholding food and sex? Wow that's just a lil harsh ladies. Isn't there more than one tv in the house though? I am single and therefore are used to having control of the remote all the time. But the times when I lived with my ex when there was something she was watching that I wasn't into I went into the other room to watch what I wanted to watch and visa versa.

I think there can be a compromise on the remote if you talk about it. No need to go to the extremes. lol.

Bob Fry "the FISH" said...

no, no, no! ur going about this all wrong. ya gotta think like a guy. men hunt. women nest. we have very short attention spans. but if you want a guy to stay on a channel, all you gotta do is find interesting things for him to pay attention to on the show.
for example, "honey look at her boobs!" or "honey, would you hit that if you were single?" or honey, look at her boobs again." if that doesnt work, just whine until he's sick of hearing you.