Processing Struggles

I'm trying to make it a habit to not mention Pete constantly, so lots of times, I just sit in silence and think of him. Or I come here to write it all out. Some days I'm airy and I can see the beauty in our short friendship. Then there's days like today. Days where I'm sad. I'm pissed. I'm alone at my internship, in my normal sitting spot and since Pete normally worked on Fridays, he would have at least dropped in to say hey for 5 minutes. But he can't and he won't. And I'm sad. I'm angry. A gazebo that Pete helped build was erected and a plaque with his name was put up. I can't visit it. I genuinely cannot bring myself to go see it. I don't want more reminders. Reminders of my hurt. My anger. My confusion and depression. I miss my friend. Why didn't you stay?