Thursday, November 11, 2010

Lies About My Vagina

So we've moved. Changing apartments has had a wonderful impact on us. We're arguing less, we're working with one another more. We've discovered one another in ways that we've never known before. Its been a few months now and its like we're on some kind of twisted honeymoon. We even lay down, going to sleep at the same time.

During one of our recent afternoon naps, as he held me, he asked a few intimate questions. He asked about my sexual past, partners and all. He asked who my first was and I told him that it was my ex, David. He asked about who the best lovers were. I honestly told him that he's been the best, but that David and Fred were in the top 3. I told him a little more about Fred and my purely sexual attraction to him. It was kind of relieving telling Pookie about him, because I'd been feeling that Fred was a dirty secret for so long, that it felt good to come clean about it.

Pookie then asked another question. He asked if I'd ever had a train run on me. I told him no. He told me not to be embarrassed and asked again. Again, I said no and that there was no embarrassment, because there was no train. Pookie then said "well, that's not what I heard." I couldn't help but to laugh. I asked who said that mess, and he refused to answer, but he didn't have to. I know that it was yet another hater that disliked me. Pookie then asked if I'd had sex with two guys that were homies at the same time. Again, the answer was no. I even admitted to him that I'd met Fred through another guy and I never got down with that guy because I'd gotten down with Fred first. He asked if I'd had sex with a few guys that were in the same crew. No. Had I had sex while one guy was in the house and later had sex with his same friend who was in the house. NO! As much as he tried to get me to own up to it, there simply was no orgy, no trains, no being the neighborhood bicycle to a bunch of musicians in the same group.

He claimed that he'd heard all kinds of wild stories about my past and how I'd dated all kinds of musicians in Atlanta. I told him that although I did date a lot of musicians, the fact was that I was dating David most of the time so sexually he was the primary one that got any action below the belt. I'd actually told him that I'd even just blogged about it here.

The strange thing is that this is actually the THIRD time that I've known someone to lie about my sexual history. A guy that I kicked it with briefly a few years ago told me that my former roommate/best friend had told him that some guy I dated told her that the sex with me was bad. That was untrue for a few reasons.
1) The men that I date and get down with are more respectful than that and they wouldn't dish dirt on me like that.
2) As a rule, I tend to keep my guys away from my friends. The men that I date have little to no exposure to my girlfriends and that is intentional. So there was only one man that I'd dated that she knew.
3) The only man that I'd dated who she had access to will tell you that I WAS OFF THE CHAIN. I pleased that man and made his toes curl to the point that he was calling me even after I'd given birth to another man's baby.
4) If a man just had to say that the sex with me was bad, I highly doubt he'd tell it to someone that touted herself as my best friend.
5) IT AIN'T TRUE! Not to toot my own horn, but I gets down with the get down. Any man that's ever kept company with me like that will tell you that I'm fun, sensual, adventurous, and I aim to please. There is only one sexual experience that I've ever had that was bad was due to the fact that the dude had a bunch of emotional issues. Other than that, I'm a total minx. ;)

The other moment where someone lied about me and my precious vaj is when my ex's baby mama (thank God for restraining orders) had the gall to tell him that she didn't believe that he was my first. She said that based on the fact that a week later, I had sex with the guy that was my actual boyfriend. Basically, I cheated on my boyfriend at the time and lost my virginity to David. I had sex with my actual boyfriend later. So somehow in her warped mind, that equated to me lying. David even questioned me about it, based on me having sex with him later. Um, sorry folks, lord knows I wish I could have changed it, but David was my first. Ick. It's crazy how a bitch that wasn't even the damned state at the time could claim to know what was going on with my private parts, but I guess that's just how sought out my va jay jay is.

And now yet another fool is out there spreading lies about things going on with me and my lady area. It doesn't really surprise me though. That wasn't even the first time he'd accused me of lying about my history (here for reminders on that one). I've always been sensuous and I've always been seen as a free spirited and ditsy individual so many people have equated that with me being free and loose with the part of my body that I have titled "Girlfriend." I told Pookie that despite what he's heard and despite what he'd like to think, Girlfriend isn't free or willy nilly at all. Sure, I've had my moments of casual experiences, and most of them I would not take back, but I'm a tad more conservative sexually than many people expect. Sure, with the basics, I'm a pro at doing what men want and need, but I'm not the chick to be fucking a whole football team or a band, or a guy just because he says he's a rapper or producer.

I guess that ,again, I'll just have to accept that lies are a part of comes with greatness. And God, Pookie, Fred, and only handful of other men know how great Girlfriend really is.


khaki la'docker said...

Color me confused. Why is the topic of your vaginal statistics so popular?

people really need to get a life and if they cant afford one, they need to hit up the Goodwill for a used one. Folks make me sick.
then end

malika the sexy cynic said...

khaki, all i can think is that some folks are either bored or gay, because i don't see why someone that isn't up in there should give a damn what's going on downstairs.