Monday, June 28, 2010

Magic Numbers

I don't know how the topic came up this evening, but somehow Pookie and I got to discussing our magic numbers. Being one for total honesty (even thought it appears to work against me more often than not), I told him. He looked at me and said "bullshit." I looked him in his eye and swore on my child's head that I was telling him the truth. That's when he told me that he'd heard that I'd been quite wild in my old days. I admitted to him that I had, in fact dated a lot of men, but by no means did all of them make it to my promised land.

Pookie and I, while we didn't roll in the same circles, we did run in circles that in some ways intersected. We knew of some of the same people. Some people I knew quite well and he'd only met in passing, and vice versa. Anyway, he claims that he'd heard my name linked to quite a few guys. I told him that I was flattered to be linked with so many guys, but that really wasn't the case.

The funny thing is that this isn't the first time he'd said something like that. The first time was during a heated argument, so I figured he'd only said it to piss me off at the time (mission accomplished). But now that we were cool, I couldn't figure out where this would be coming from. I asked him to tell me what he'd heard and of course he declined.

Its funny that the issue of men lying about sex actually came up earlier today. I'd hung out with the hot guy from my birthday party and he told me that he'd gotten down with a homegirl of mine back in the day. I wasn't mad that she'd gotten down with him, I was moreso mad that he told me about it after she'd clowned him for being a cornball after she took care of him when he had some dental work done. I told myself that I wouldn't ask her about it, but like every other time I advise myself not to do something, I did it anyway. I hit her up and asked. The funny thing is that she and I are just alike, and she was so open on the phone, that I highly doubted she was lying. Which means that perhaps he was lying instead. I chalked it up to him being doped up from the dental procedure, and not him being a douchebag. But then I was reminded of another guy I'd known back in the day who told me he got down with a homegirl. I asked her about it, and in fact, my guy friend was lying. So perhaps men do lie about who they're geting it from.

I again insisted to him that my number was accurate. And again Pookie accused me of lying. He said that for my number to be accurate, I'd only had sex with about one person per year since I'd started having sex at 17 with David. I quickly did the math in my head and said "yeah, I guess so." Again, he called "bullshit."

According to his sources, I'd been all over the club scene. I admitted to him that yes, I dated a lot of guys, but honestly many of them were quite unfuckable. Some were too anxious, some were just assholes, some I didn't really connect with, one came by my house and THAT was when he told me he had a girlfriend, I remember one being coked up (and I suspect another of being the same way), and a multitude of other reasons. The funny thing is that most of the men I'd slept with came before I even became a club girl.

For some reason, Pookie refuses to believe me. He doesn't believe that most of the men I dated were never in the club scene like that. Many of them were just regular Joes that I'd met in various ways. I had to remind Pookie that between him, who I've been with for nearly 4 years, my ex David, who I was with for 10 years, and my ex Sebastian, who I was with for a year and a half, I haven't really had a reason to pursue many new men. Still, he maintained that I was lying. Pookie said that he should multiply my number by 3 to get the actual number. Despite me telling him that we've only randomly run into one guy that I've ever been with, he swears that many of the men that I hug and embrace when we're out must be people that I've screwed.

Like many other issues in my life, I took to Facebook to vent about it. That's when my cousin chimed in, so I texted her the number. That's when she responded with "if (the number) is high, then I'm a whore." I laughed and started to feel a lot better.

While I'd always known that I wasn't the slut that many people would like to think, to have Pookie think that I must be lying and then have my cousin tell me that she'd stopped counting made me feel a hell of a lot better. I'm feeling so good, I might just go put my magic number on a t-shirt. I'm not so easy after all, so why not flaunt it?

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