Friday, October 29, 2010

The Circle

*Just to let yall know, I’ve put a lot of folks business out in this particular post, so I’m changing the names of dang near everyone.*

A while ago, I attended an event called Green House. It’s pretty much an event where people get together in Piedmont Park and house music is played and folks dance the day away. It’s one of those events where you’re going to see a bunch of regulars from the music scene here in Atlanta. I took my homegirl, Sheryl, with me to join in the festivities. I didn’t get to do much dancing because I’d brought my son with me and he was cutting up, but Sheryl walked around and got to meet some folks.

Aside from Sheryl, my friends Kylie and Fred were also in attendance. I looked at Kylie and asked if the little chick with the blonde hair was Ms. C and she responded yes. A few of the other the old homies were in attendance as well.

While in the car on the way back, Sheryl (who is bi-sexual) told me that some other chick hit on her by offering to wipe the sweat off of her boobs. Even though Sheryl is married with kids, she was shocked at how openly the woman hit on her in front of the lady’s husband. While Sheryl’s husband knows about her lifestyle, she said that she’d never disrespect him by hitting on another woman in his presence. It was clear that Sheryl was really shocked by the other woman’s open aggression and sexual advances. I told Sheryl that’s pretty much how the scene is and that damned near everyone there is somehow sexually related to everyone else there.

As I started to explain some of the history with her, I realized that we’re all just a big old ball of dating and sexual experience. I actually shared my findings with my friend Greg this evening and when he thought about it, he was a bit surprised at how right I really was. It's like the unwritten and unspoken thing. It's not uncommon to see some dude you used to get down with, rolling in the club with some other chick you've seen from around the way. It's never really awkward (which is kinda strange in itself). We all just accept that the other person has moved on (just as you already have) and y'all just remain homies. Daisy and I have accepted that although we don't know for sure, there's a chance that we've both at some point bedded the same guy. Of course we would never consciously go after the same guys now, but who knows what's happened before we'd ever really thought about it.

I started the story by explaining to Sheryl that I’d met Sky (another homeboy) through a guy I (regrettably) kicked it with named Iz. I saw Iz one night at a Kelsy Davis show and he and Sky needed a ride home. That same show is also where I'd first seen Divinity Roxx (who is now Beyonce's bassist) perform. She's really good, even as a solo artist, by the way. Anyway, Sky and I were instant homies, which Iz didn’t like so he did everything he could to make me not want Sky. He told me he was a virgin (yeah, right) and that he was a super Christian so I didn’t have a shot in hell. Despite Iz’s attempts, Sky and I became thick as thieves. I’d actually met Fred initially through Iz, because Fred was his roommate, although we never really spoke at the time (although I did think he was a hottie even then). Sky and I were actually so close that he and I used to sleep in bed together. Folks swore we were having sex, but the fact is that Sky and I never even kissed. When I got pregnant, I must have been asked about 6 times if the baby was his. Folks thought he was gay (he isn’t) and that I was gay (I’m not) and that we must be having some kind of freaky sexual encounters together (we didn’t).

Later at a show Sky was having, I met Kylie and Daisy. After Kylie and I met, at another show, I saw her talking to a guy that I’d seen playing guitar at a show Ms. C (the blonde chick from the party) was having. I asked Kylie about him and she told me that he was “good” so I should go for it and she introduced us. His name was George. George and I hung out a few times, and he brought his homie Fred with us. One night George had to leave early, leaving Fred and I alone. While I hadn’t slept with anyone else from the scene (including George), that night when Fred kissed me, my panties melted off and we began having a sexual relationship that summer that was unmatched. George and I stayed friends and one night at my home, we got really close, but I couldn’t do it because I’d already slept with a friend of his. I didn’t tell George my reasons for declining him until a few years later.

Anyway, Kylie, who had kicked it with George, had also kicked it with Sky, back in the day. Sky also dated Ms. C. The night I met Kylie, when we talked about the many things we’d had in common, I admitted to her that I once dated the guy that hosted Sunday nights at a local poetry spot. That’s when she told me that he was her ex. There is also the time that I found out that the guy I kissed at Roderick’s party (good old Spin the Bottle), Raphael, was dating Daisy at the time, which helped solve the mystery of why she stopped our kiss (I didn’t find that out until our day trip to Helen, Georgia with Fred and Roderick in the car). Awkward moment it was when we talked about that…

On to others, at one point, Sky dated a girl that he really liked name Charmaine. Sky, the eternal bachelor, really liked her and was actually thinking about being exclusive with her. Sky and Charmaine came to a party of mine together. That night, Charmaine met Fred. Sky told me he wasn’t comfortable about the whole thing and that he didn’t trust Fred. I assured him that Fred was cool and that he didn’t mean any harm. Two months later, Fred and Charmaine were dating and Sky and Charmaine were barely speaking. I actually hung out with Fred and Charmaine and a few other friends at the Southern Comfort Music Festival one night while I was pregnant. To Fred’s credit, when he and I met for coffee a few weeks ago, while I laughed about him swooping up Charmaine, he said that he didn’t know that she and Sky had been a “thing” the night they met.

The circle actually gets A LOT wider, but I’m not going to bore you with the details. Not only that, I’m running out of fake names to give the participants. Now, I can honestly say that not everyone was actually having sex. A lot of people thought I was getting around, but the fact is that I was primarily sleeping with only one person who wasn't on the scene, so I settled for innocent dates with the guys I came across. Some people just dated and hung out. Some people were in relationships (although honestly, not many). Despite the kookiness, I love those folks (some of them, at least) more than they’ll ever know. The creative energy and love that is emitted when the room is filled with those people is unmatched. We may be a giant cesspool of freaky intermingling, but those people helped me to hone my social skills and helped to show me that being a free loving spirit is cooler than I ever thought it could be. I’ve also learned that sometimes you just want to get your rocks off, and if you find someone that helps you feel good about yourself and your sexual independence, then there’s nothing wrong with it. I love myself. And I love my cesspool.

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