Malika As A Girlfriend

I'm thankful for Theo. I guess that's a great way to start this post, since today (the day I wrote this) is actually Thanksgiving. I'll be honest and say that parts of this are challenging. Theo and I are pretty different. He's way more committal than me, which is a pretty good thing, because one of us needs to be.

I've also had to grow with him physically. Like I'm really having to get used to having him in my presence as my actual boyfriend. I like it though. I feel protected and safe with him. The other morning I pulled out my ice scraper to take the ice off of my windshield, and he took the scraper from me and told me to get in the car. After he was done with the ice scraper, he got back in the car and reminded me that having a man in my life means that I don't have to do tasks like that. Another time, after we finished grocery shopping, he told me not to touch the bags and allow him and my son to bring the groceries in.

That's the stuff that makes me adore him and be glad he's in my life. There's other stuff though that I struggle with. I don't consider myself an "independent woman" in so much, an "independent person." I haven't had a serious boyfriend really since my son's father. Sure there were were a few men I'd committed to for a while, but nothing with any real teeth, although I did love and care about those men. 

But now that I'm learning to be in something serious, I have to learn to exist in this. Being a part of a couple. Introducing him as "my boyfriend." I've been made to feel bad for asking men for anything, but he really wants me to ask for stuff. And not so he can hold it against me. As I get ready to hang out with my family for the holiday, he gave me a few bucks to get my nails done. And it isn't about the money. I had to have a discussion with myself about Love Languages and I realized that his is gifts. Mine is acts of service and words of affirmation. So he's not trying to buy me. He's showing me that he cares in his own way. I'm enamored. 

I'm also having to be more mindful of how I carry myself with my guy friends. I had a question for him about sexual preferences and ideas. I asked him and he refused to answer. I reminded him that he'd consider it disrespectful if I asked any of my previous love conquests about bedroom antics, so I opted instead to ask him. 

I've always been a woman to swear that I'd never get rid of anyone! My friends are my friends til the end! But Theo has given me something to think about. He's not like the other men that wanted all of me and put nothing into a relationship. Theo puts his money where his mouth is. He adores me and he tells me. We go on dates. I tell him what I want and need and he delivers. And he tells me what he wants and needs and I'm front and center. I hope things continue to go well between us. I like me, I like him, and I like me and him together. I'm a girlfriend. I'm his girlfriend.