Soaking

I'm a social worker. I love the field, but I continue to be surprised by how much research and upkeep the field requires. Society and culture constantly shifts, as does the research that goes into it. I'm quite thankful to be at a job that allows me room to grow. I've pissed quite a few colleagues from my graduate school off, by being honest in sharing that I wasn't fully prepared for the field when I graduated. My program at the time was lacking in a lot of what was needed to make me sufficiently ready for what I was about to encounter. And I'm the kind of person that appreciates honest criticism of me because it allows me to become a better version of myself. But I had to learn that not everyone appreciates being told "hey, get your shit together."

My first job out of grad school was at DFCS. I was fired 2 months later for something I didn't even do. I was devastated. I wasn't particularly connected to the job, but it was the first "adult" job I'd had. I worked my ass off to get a degree, to be fired later on for something I didn't even do. That was in 2017, the year Pete died, and a year that will always go down in history as one of the worst years of my life. My plan was to just work at Petsmart until 2018, but I had a boss that I could no longer stomach and I finally started applying in my field again. 

I landed a job in social work, but I was sorely underpaid. I loved that job. I loved the clients. I loved the culture of the organization. But my money stayed funny with that job. Who gives a damn how much I loved it, if my bills were constantly paid late? But I learned a lot there. Well, not a lot. But enough. I finally landed another job. That job ended up keeping me for 2 and a half years. I learned a hell of a lot at that particular job. But the fact is, that I was winding down. I was starting to look at an exit strategy. I was no longer fulfilled, plus my relationship with my boss tanked. Then a lil old thing called COVID-19 (you may have heard of it) hit. My program was suspended.

I traveled the country in a kick-ass mid-pandemic road trip, got back and started my current job. All and all, I'd say that things are going well. But every now and again, I am reminded of how much I don't know. My boss and co-worker are quite skilled at being familiar with so many diagnoses, while I've primarily gotten my feet wet with the basics (such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and some trauma). But there is so much more for me to pick up on.

One of the requirements of my job is that I must get my social work license. I took a few license study tests, and the good thing is that my knowledge on field applications is pretty good. I know how to properly respond to difficult clients and clients in crisis. But my knowledge on social work theories is fuzzy at best. And theories tend to come in handy when you're doing therapy and searching for modalities that apply to different people's situations. I'm good. But ultimately, I'm hoping to be great.

I love that jobs in social work and therapy often provide materials that allow you to grow as a clinician. We have access to so many workbooks, worksheets, and files that build our knowledge. A few years ago, while still in school, I worked a job that literally paid minimum wage, at a YMCA camp. That job was trash. But one thing I liked about it was doing the craft projects with children. One day, I took a bunch of colorful foam letters and glued them onto a piece of blue paper and spelled out the words "MALIKA IS DESTINED FOR GREATNESS." I always held onto that sheet. I was able to keep it by putting it on the cover sheet of binder. I'd never put anything in that binder. Until now.

I've been thinking about my career lately. The things I'd like to accomplish and where I hope to go one day. I want to be knowledgeable and educated. I want to be able to recite from memory important details of various mental illnesses. I want to be able to accurately talk at length about the best modalities for various issues. As I've been building onto my clinical know-how regarding my current clients, I've decided that it's about time for me to start soaking it all up.

I've started making copies of various worksheets given to me. Things that I know will be applicable further down the road. Kinds of therapies, questions to ask clients, things to look for. I've started to make copies and leave them in my binder. Today I was talking to a woman who is still working toward going to school and I was able to describe to her the difference between cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). I was quite proud of myself, as I've been familiar with CBT for years, and I'd often heard of DBT, but it wasn't until a few months ago that I decided to look it up and buy a workbook for it that I was able to accurately describe it to a peer. I felt good.

So now, here I am, collecting all of the information that I can. Soaking it all up like a sponge, so that hopefully one day I will be able to regurgitate what is needed on command, in order to be not only a kick ass clinician, but also able to help people who need my expertise on their particular issue. Even as I pasted letters to a sheet of paper some years ago, I may have just been onto something. Because I definitely see greatness in my future.