Growing Up- Kinda

I've struggled with the idea of changing jobs for a while now. My clients love me, but the fact is that I've been yearning to do something more. Something way more. My plan was to go on a trip this summer, and then when I return, start looking for a new job and then subsequently move to a new apartment and possibly a new side of town. But there is a old saying that goes "if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." A large part of my plans rested on receiving my tax return early enough to start planning for my vacation, but due to (some bullshit) circumstance beyond my control, I am grounded until my money lands. So no moving. Yet, at least. And no vaycay. Again, yet.

A good friend mine works with a fancy government job, and she convinced me a while back to apply. Honestly, master's degree and all, I felt a little over my head applying for such positions. I felt like a small fish in a large pond. I felt like I was playing pretend. Me? Lil old me? Me?! I've talked about it and looked at the website, but for some reason, I just didn't feel ready. I knew that it was in the cards, I just never quite knew when. Plus having a child makes things a bit more challenging. Whenever I make a step in one direction or another, I need to make sure that the Boy is in a good place.

But I've been feeling a squeeze. No doubt in my mind, that the time will soon come for me to move on from here. I just don't know when and how. So recently, out of nowhere, Ted sent me a job listing for a school in the Atlanta University Center. I didn't even look at the link. A week later, he and I were talking shop (he works in the same field, but works at a school in the AUC as well) when he mentioned the job he'd sent. He said "its perfect for you. You started the pantry, you went to an AUC school, you need to go on and apply." Talk about pressure. I looked at the link, and Ted was right. I have the experience, the heart, the know-how, the social networking connections, the education, etc. But can I do it? Am I good enough to work at this illustrious institution? Will they look at my resume and laugh? Certainly, they won't waste their time to call me in for an interview. *sigh* I applied 2 nights ago.

Coincidentally, I talked to a girlfriend about my desire to move to California and asked what she'd learned from her short stint there. She plans to move back one day, but encouraged me to start looking and possibly make that leap. I'm thinking I'd prefer to do it once pumpkin leaves high school, but I'm not sure. She'd randomly sent me a link to a job she'd seen posted in Seattle. I have zero desire to move to Seattle, but her sending me that random link sparked something. I'm not trying to heavily job search until I get back from my two week vacation (I'm not playing with y'all! I want my trip!), but I looked again at the government site at jobs the other night, and I searched for jobs in my field. Nothing yet, but I sense this may have to do with the glut of soon to be new graduates applying for jobs. But now I feel ready. Its almost time for me to make that move. I got this. Finally.