More Surprising Love

I love that I can now blame my A.D.D. in my difficultly of letting things go. After my utter surprise at Him contacting me, I reached out to Ted. One thing I love about Ted is that he's logical and emotionally intelligent enough to give me answers that make sense. So as much as I hate answering the question, and as tacky and desperate as it sounds, I had to ask-
"What do men see in me?"

Ted went on to describe a few of my physical attributes. "I'm a breast man, so you having big boobs is a plus," he started. "Plus I love your lips," he added. But then he added "I dunno. I guess you're just attractive." I was like, "Huh? Attractive? Me?" Now don't get me wrong, I know I'm not an ogre or anything. But I'd always thought of myself as "cute" but not "attractive." Ted considered the terms synonymous, but I certainly don't. In my eyes, a man who is attractive has an uncanny ability to draw women in droves. A guy who is cute is considered a guy who isn't the ugliest damned thing I've laid eyes on. I mean, he may be nice to look at, but he ain't the finest dude on the planet.
For instance, Idris Elba is attractive, Tyler Perry is cute.

So me hearing myself as "attractive" was different. I mean, when and how? I still see myself as that awkward girl with big teeth, who can't dance to save her life. I see all of my flaws. In my mind and heart, my flaws are magnified and the whole damned world just doesn't know how bad they are.
But I guess I learned in that moment that maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am. Good to know that someone out there thinks that.