Springtime Action

Last week, Stepmommy called me and asked if the loveseat that has been plaguing my living room was still up for grabs. I'd offered it to my baby sister, who is at UGA some months ago. Her roommate, who'd owned all of their household furniture, had moved out, leaving baby sis and her roomies nothing to sit on. She'd taken my white leather couch previously. I was glad to get rid of that couch. It was leftover from the previous owners of my house, and anyone who knows me knows damned well that a white leather couch is not remotely something I'd want or need. Coincidentally, just earlier that day, I was thinking of having the loveseat taken to the dump, so I'm glad that it went to a good home, before I made that call. No one wants a seat covered in pollen, that's been waiting out in the elements, ya dig?

Having emptied of the extra furniture, my house now feels like mine. For the first time since I've moved in, the house doesn't feel too crowded or cluttered. I feel like an ungrateful asshole, but I'd kinda struggled with the size of the house, initially. 1100 square feet is nothing to sneeze at, but the homes I was raised in where both at least 2x bigger than that. But the fact is that they were bigger houses, because there was more people to house. A 3 bed, 1.5 bath square foot house is plenty big enough for just lil' old me and my lil 6'6 nugget, especially since he'll be going away to college soon. And moving that additional behemoth just really opened up the room. Plus, I'd read earlier that many people struggle with feeling that their house was a mistake early on, but after a year or so, they grow to love it. And yeah, that's definitely my case.

While working from home, I told myself that I'd work from the office, but I lied, the living room has become my work space. With the giant window, tv, screen door, which allows for fresh air moving into the springtime, my house actually feels like home how.

What's even more exciting is that Pumpkin is getting ready to graduate. Like, oh my God, I made it! Freedom is on the horizon! Since moving in, I've heard from several people that I should have a shindig or two, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The place felt too cluttered and unsettled. But now that the living room is opened up and things are now put away or thrown away, I finally see the vision. I texted my bestie last night and told her that we're totally having a kickback when she visits again.

And it's not just the couch or the living room, I can finally breathe again. Coincidentally, the apartment that I lived in when I conceived my son is a lot like my current house. I didn't think much about it at the time, but I'm really grateful that I got to my house before some flipper got to it and made everything "millennial grey." I have the original floors and all of those lil quirks that make houses home, ya know?

Last night, I stopped at Kroger to grab food for the Kid. It was about 10 when we stepped in. It was reminiscent of those nights in my 20s, when we'd aimlessly go get food at odd hours, to come back to my house and kick it all night. I'm looking forward to picking up on those nights.

But I picked up on something I hadn't expected to touch on. I think I miss male energy. Not sex and dating, but there's something a tad intimate about driving around late at night, laughing and going to grab food. Those memories, ya dig? I think I'd like to approach dating again, but I don't want to go into the mess that comes with it. I'm not sure how I'll navigate that. I've got some homeboys I've been meaning to catch up with, and perhaps that'll scratch that itch? Not sexually, of course. I mean, obviously there are men circling who are waiting to get that call that I want action, but none of them meet what I require to be allowed access. I'm about 15 months out of sex and I couldn't miss it any less.

Still spring, brings a certain "something." The energy, the color, the lights, the endless possibilities. And I'm here for all of it.