Countdown and Time Away

Roughly 4 years ago, I started asking myself how many days I had until Pumpkin was out of high school. I wanted to move to L.A. desperately, and I knew even then that being on my own would allow me the freedom. At the time, I had roughly 1700 days to go. Almost daily, I'd google how many days until my release date. Obviously, I did make the leap to L.A. at some point, but I hadn't factored in the inability to find housing, based on that stupid eviction moratorium. I don't regret the move. It set me on a path of some new stuff that I didn't anticipate that I would need. It was a bit of a reset and by the time I came back, I didn't realize how much I'd be in hustle mode. I ended up making more money and buying a house, two things that I did not anticipate, and that move cross country allowed it all to happen.

And now, here I am, with less than 100 days to go. Strangely enough, I feel guilty for counting down so heavily. I'd never be on of those parents who kicked my kid out at 18. I tell everyone how a large part of me buying a house was that he'd always have a place to return to, no matter what. I saw how the older generations treated the young adults back then, essentially telling them "figure it out" when stuff got hard and they just needed a hand. I was fortunate enough to create a soft landing for my baby, as these houses were getting expensive. Truthfully, sometimes, I wish I'd gotten a bigger house, but I intentionally got a ranch-style home, with then intention to age in place. But the fact is, this house is plenty big for just me and one other person. I didn't want a huge palace (not that I could afford one), that would eventually require a lot of stairs, in the event that my hip or knees got bad.

I still want a larger house, and sometimes, I consider adding on a room, or at least knocking down a wall, but for now, there are other expenses to consider. Plus I do actually enjoy that cleaning my house would only take roughly an hour, if I had to get stuff together. All and all, I'm grateful.

Last year, I took a road trip to NYC and got a hotel in Times Square and decided that I wanted my Pumpkin to have a similar experience, and for his spring break, that's what we'll be doing. This weather lifting is genuinely doing something for me. Spring tends to do that for me though. Spring in Atlanta is a lot like summer in L.A. Kinda breezy, but pleasant, warm and inviting. It just makes you want more. This time of year is a little weird for me and it tends to make long for L.A. living. I'm grateful that I bought a house before I was priced out, but it leaves a difficulty of how to go there, while maintaining this. I have a few ideas, but I've decided that I'm going to either wait until Pumpkin graduates, or a least is in his junior year of college, before I head back out west.

I'm desperately trying to work as much as I can and get up extra coins to cover all of my upcoming expenses. I'd considered hopping a plane for a weekend in L.A. but I'd have to cover a plane ride, a rental car, hotel and food, and right now, I just can't justify that added expense. I'm in desperate need of a vacation though. Coincidentally, I was talking to my therapist the other day, and I'd shared with her that I know for a fact that if I'd flown in and told Fred that I needed a ride around town, he'd gladly grab me. But I don't need those issues, so that's a no-go. Actually, a girlfriend of mine is supposed to be having a movie premier soon in L.A., so I'd be willing to go for that, and pay all of the expenses, but I'm waiting to get word. And of course, Fred is in the film too, so I'd see him if it happens, but I'll cross that burned bridge when I get to it.

Even though me and the kid have a plane to NYC to hop next month, I've been itching for some sun and the beach. I'm leaning heavily towards a weekend in Destin or Biloxi. Likely gonna do Biloxi though. I'd mentioned to The Kid that I was considering a long weekend in Biloxi and I'm grateful that he said "I'll just stay home" even though I hadn't invited him. Obviously, I'd welcome him on the trip, if he wanted, but a solo trip to the beach would be amazing. I don't think I've had a solo beach trip since I was pregnant with him. 

My new favorite person is a DJ, who has reminded me of many of my favorite old tunes. My playlist improves by leaps and bounds every time I go hear him spin. Today, while I drove home from dinner with Pumpkin, I'd allowed some of the playlist to wash over me, as I felt the warm wind blowing through the windows of my car. I envisioned myself driving through cute little shops in Biloxi, or possibly some other beach town. I decided that a beach trip needs to happen and it needs to happen soon. I'm so ready to be free and just live my life untethered to a high schooler. Bring it.