Tuesday, November 5, 2013
I was at my best friend's surprise party last night and I met a mutual friend's girlfriend, and I immediately took to her. We both said that in dealing with our men, we were pretty sure that our boos were more than likely our future husbands. We talked about how we'd both had long and bad relationships in the past, so we knew we were on a better tracks.
She told me that she'd been dating him as long as I'd been dating Love and I suggested that she and I double with our new loves. Then I looked up and suggested that the four of us go out with my bestie and his girlfriend, making us a triple date. Around the same time I told her that I had been pricing photogs and flowers for our wedding and was amazed at the prices. She told me that she'd been married before and that her Vegas wedding costs her $5k. Another married friend chimed in that he'd spend over $8k for his wedding last year and he only got that steal because he'd called in favors all over the city. It felt awesome to talk to other people seriously about such issues, since I was never this close to a walk down the isle before.
It was then that I realized why they often say it is best for couples to hang with other couples. While with Deen there was only one couple we hung with and truthfully, they were just as screwed up as he and I were. Now that I'm in a really happy and loving relationship, I love the idea of getting together with other couples and hanging out. The best thing about the males last night is that I know all three of them (Love, the new woman's boyfriend, and my male bestie) are genuinely GOOD dudes. They are men that seek long-lasting, family-oriented relationships with the women they love and with God. I now understand that when all of your social encounters are with single people, it is easy to get sidetracked and forget to carry yourself as half of a couple. When your focus is husband/wife/child/family, you know not to have your ass in the club frequently as if you were single.
The married friend also told us that he intends to have his birthday this spring in Amsterdam and said we should all join him. I told him that as a woman who is happily committed to a minister, getting blitzed in Amsterdam is not an option. My friend said that if I marry someone, he has to accept who and what I am. I told him that while I agree to an extent, for my particular relationship, somethings I had to fall back on. He's married and his wife will be in Amsterdam with him. I'm heading toward marriage, and I'll be home with my boo. Or wherever he is. Love and I will simply have to find new couples to hang with in the meantime.