Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Side Chick to Main Chick
Its come up in convo for me quite a few times how I'm happily coupled up with an incredible man and the personal and spiritual transitions I had to make to make me ready to receive him and love him the way I need to. Love and I had a conversation recently where he said that Steve Harvey once told a story about how when a man loves a woman and fully commits to her, he gives her a title. Not just a "baby mama" or just introducing you by your name, he'll say "this is my girlfriend/wife/fiance, (insert name here)."
I'm so thankful to have finally made it to that point. My friend and I conversed today and she said that she has finally let go of all of the casual male acquaintances in her life and she's doing much better without them. We both said how as a woman, (if you're lucky) you get to a point where you learn to screen men out in less than 30 seconds. It could be something as simple as his body language, his posture, his verbal language, or the activity he invites you to, you can tell quite quickly if he is worth your time.
I'm not sure if I said this before, but the ONLY thing that got me to let my guard down when I met Love is how he approached me. As I'd written before, we were at a copy shop and casually talking. I bid him farewell and walked toward my car and he ran outside and stopped me to ask me to lunch. That was the selling point. He didn't ask to come to my home or get me to his home. He didn't ask me to smoke weed or drink with him. He didn't even mention dinner. He suggested something as casual and friendly as lunch. And we've been glued at the hip ever since.
I've got to say, there is something astonishing about being not just the "main chick" but the only woman in a man's life. Love has shown me so much loyalty and devotion in a short amount of time and I have absolutely no doubt that things will continue to flourish and grow between the two of us. In the meantime, we will be spending Thanksgiving with my best friend's family and he's already making the rounds and meeting my friends. They all love him and as each day goes on, we get closer and closer to making our love a spiritual and legally permanent one.
I hate to argue that it was low self-esteem that led me to dealing with the partners I had before, but I've always been one to be honest with myself. At the same time, I was just happy to have love and companionship. But as time grew, so did I, and companionship and penis was no longer enough. I think, no, I know, I'm glad I met him when I did, because truthfully, had I met him at any other time or any other circumstance, I wouldn't have been able to look at him and truly appreciate what a blessing he really is. So it appears that the moment I decided to step up my game, and stop settling for crumbs, Prince Charming marched up on his white horse. Or in his silver Scion. Whichever.