i've been through more shit than a little bit for the last month. i'm trying to be positive and stay the cynical, twisted mofo that you've all come to know and love, but unfortunately there have been negative forces at hand, working to knock me off of my core. here i will compile a list of people, habits, and ideas that WILL NOT follow me into the new year. my goal is to lay low for the rest of 2009 and focus on being the hot milf that i normally am and focus on making 2010 work for me.
1) this skanky ass whore that my roommate is fucking. i haven't written about her, but this hoe is ungrateful, uncouth, a hypocrite, and a walking example of why i think church should be avoided. this ignorant cunt considers herself a minister. bitch please. anyway, this loud, country, big ass fake hoodrat is OFFICIALLY not even on my radar for the upcoming year.
2) staying here!! my apartment makes me miserable. i'm ready to take my baby and relocate to a cozy little home in decatur. perhaps pookie will come with me, perhaps not. either way, i'm high tailing it to my new home. this isn't gonna be my residence for all of 2010.
3) jealous ass relatives. one of my relative had the GALL to crack on my son for being non-verbal. those that live in glass crack pipes shouldn't throw stones. anyway, my baby is here and he's mine. i love every hair on his head and i wouldn't change a thing about him. as a matter of fact, any jealous hoes that can't get or keep a man, or that were too damned lazy to raise their own kids, need to keep their nose up out of me and mine. my son is happy and healthy and he loves is mama! and i love him back.
4) negative relatives. another had the nerve to say that i'm living off of pookie. i'm very blessed that pookie was around to help me get out of school. now the plan is for me to help him get out of school. petty, bitter ass women kill me being mad anytime a woman has a good man around to help her. i hauled ass to graduate from school for my son. i'm not planning to be the same kind of parental support (or lack there of) that i had. dad held me down. as for the other parent...
5) unemployment. thankfully i've been able to spend a lot of time with my son, and that is absolutely precious. but the time has come for me to make major bread. i'm making a little money through one of the websites i'm writing for, but i need more paper. 2010 is going to be the year of gainful employment for me. dad has a good connect for me, so while i wait for other things to pop off, i'll have a side gig to make some decent money.
6) negativity in general. all of these negative folks have really rocked me. i try so hard to stay the course, but i'm only human and i feel like i've got the world on my shoulders. i'm blessed with some of the dopest and most loyal friends (and select fam) that a girl could ask for. i wish i could let them all know from the bottom of my heart how much their friendship has meant to me. i'll lean more on them and remember to reflect the positive vibes that they give me.
7) chloe. this chick is too fucking pathetic to even care about. man, that heifer even came on here, leaving comments, hoping that she'd start beef with me, and direct traffic to her blog. i deleted her comments and kept it rolling. perhaps if she wrote about more than just her cats and her baby daddy, someone would give a damn about what she's doing. and i don't even know for sure what she writes about, but the only thing that disease infested cumbucket has going for herself is the dude she tricked into knocking her up and her fucking his best friend. i know, classy, right? anyway, that pathetic skeezer is also falling off the radar. hopefully her wack ass won't pop back up. but then again, she's my stalker, so i've come to expect that she'll try to pop up because she's starved for my attention. of course she's really just jealous of me, but she tries to hide that with her pretend hatred of me. if she wasn't such a nobody, i'd actually pity her. moving on...
8) expectations. so often i get disappointed when i try to label or place things were i think they need to be. i'm going to let go of the things that i can't control and accept things as they are and as they're meant to be. i've got no expectations of me and pookie or much else. actually, i have decided what direction pookie and i should move in and he and i are on the same page, which i'm happy about. i'm not going to elaborate on it, but we both know what the best thing for eachother and our friendship is. anyway, i'm setting a few personal and professional goals, but other than that, i'll simply give it to the higher power, while i try to focus on being the best person i can be.
so there we have it. my list of things that won't make it into 2010 with me. i'm going to bed now. i had to get that off of my chest. nighties all.
2 comments:
Good for you! I want all of us who have been 'living' in unhealthy or abusive places to leave and all live in one big house! For real. I am leaving, also. Because I refuse to use credit cards for anything anymore, I will not have internet service at all after next week.
On the relatives: My father did not speak to me last June '08 at his own mother's funeral and wake. He and she have never spoken to me or even asked me about my grief. All the relatives saw how he treated me and told me they thought it was 'terrible and disgusting'. They didn't confront him personally though, of course. We are not the dumping ground or therapist for ANYONE. Avoid all negative people. They are probably miserable and wish only to bring you down to misery.
I connected with a life coach on the radio who offers a free course for listeners.. he asked us to go 7 days without allowing one single negative thought into your head. Surrounded by so much negativity and abuse, I couldn't do it.
That attitude gets you nowhere in life. It speaks of jealousy, plain and simple. To quote my grandmother: You don't bark at a barking dog in the street, and "AN EMPTY BARREL MAKES THE MOST NOISE".
yeah, i was pretty down about it for a minute, but i had to remind myself that i'm actually better off when they're gone. hopefully their asses will stay gone because i'm NOT dealing with their shit anymore. my son deserves to have positive people around him.
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