Loyalty

I pride myself on the unrelenting friendship that I give. Anyone that's ever been close to me will tell you that I'm one of the most loyal and ride or die people that you'll ever meet. I've lent (given) money, I've given countless rides, I've taken in 6 couch surfers over the years, I've taken a multitude of phone calls from friends crying about relationship issues, I've fed people, and I've pretty much been the kind of friend that I'd like to have.

The one thing I absolutely cannot and will not tolerate is betrayal. I've recently had to deal with betrayal from family, of all things. I can't say that I'm all that surprised, but yes, I am hurt. It's cool though. Sadly, my family hasn't been all that supportive of me throughout the years anyway but it's effed up when someone dies and folks come out of the wood works to apologize for being douchebags, only to turn around and continue being douchebags later. I can't say that I'm too hurt though, because every time I fall out with them, I turn around and see how loyal my true friends are. And although I'm not religious, I've got to admit that someone or something out there truly loves me, because I'm surrounded by some of the most incredible friends that a woman could hope for.

As a matter of fact, I recently hit up my friend Portia and asked her if I was overreacting in being pissed about the betrayal. She told me that I as absolutely justified and gave the example of how when my stalker (y'all know, the slutbag bitch that won't get a damned life) sent her a friend invite on Facebook, she promptly deleted it. I was absolutely floored. I'd had no idea that sleezy skeezer tried to buddy up to a friend of mine, but my homie squashed it before it even started. Now that is my HOMIE!! Portia didn't even call me and ask me what to do, she simply decided on her own that she wasn't going to buddy up with someone that I wasn't cool with. I honestly would have reacted the same way. The cool thing was that she didn't even find it necessary to tell me about it until now. She simply did right by me, and kept it moving.

The funny thing is that one of my betrayers is actually someone that I'd fallen out with before and only linked back up with recently. That person had the nerve to make some really fucked up comments about my son and I promptly put her ass on my "not to be fucked with" list. So for 2 years she called me, texted me, emailed me, and even tried to talk to relatives to get me to be cool with her again. My response was always the same- apologize for what you said about my kid. For 2 years, she refused to apologize. And for 2 years, I told her to kiss my ass.

I remember how once, a few days before Christmas, she hit me up and told me she wanted us to be cool. I demanded an apology for disrespecting my baby. She refused. I hung up. She called back and told me that a friend of hers had recently lost a relative, and she didn't want us to be strained. Again, I demanded an apology. Again, she refused. Again I hung up. She did eventually apologize. It's just sad that she had to miss so much of my son's life because of her own goddamned ego. And now she's doing this fucked up shit. I'm not surprised.

I have to admit, being the object of someone's hate isn't all that new for me. Hell, even getting text messages from the people that supposedly hate me, begging for a relationship with me isn't new. I just find it humorous that so many people seem to hate me so much, yet those same people are the ones that contact ME. If I'm such a bitch, leave me alone and let me live my life. There are far more people that love me for who and what I am, so if I'm a bitch, or childish, or whatever people want to call me, dammit, let me do me. I think that those same people that claim to hate me, underneath it all, understand what a wonderful friend I really am, and they know they're missing out. They really hate me because I've done good for them, they eventually fucked up, and I cut them off, so they're missing my friendship. Enter the misplaced hate. They hate me for moving on without them, and they hate me for doing good without their friendship. They should really hate themselves for missing out on me. I think they secretly do.

It's all good though. My son has over a dozen pretend aunts that love him more than he'll ever know. If pretend aunts are more loyal than his real aunts, that's good enough for us.