I'm Ready?

Friday night was another one of those Atlanta bangers that I've come to know and enjoy. My homie performed at the High Museum and I decided to make a solo date of it. I'd tried to get a few homegirls to join me, but they were all busy. The performer and I had enough mutual friends that I knew that I'd run into some buddies anyway, but I was ready to weather the night alone, either way. 

I got there and ran into a classmate from grad school. We hugged and caught up, and saw the man with her. I thought they were together and questioned her about her new boo. She answered that they weren't together and asked if I was interested. I told her that I was not, and still very much dedicated to celibacy. As the night went on and we started checking out the exhibits, he and I had a chance to talk a bit more, and I enjoyed his company. I went back later and asked her if he's single. She said that he is and asked again if I was interested. I surprised myself by telling her that I was. We ended up parting before I could talk to him more, but she offered to give him my phone number, and I agreed.

After the show, I went to the performer and said my hellos, after running into those inevitable mutuals. Plenty of hugs and laughter. One of the mutuals I'd seen around a few times, but we'd never really chatted much. For some reason, we chopped it up a bit more. We laughed a lot. While the performer packed up, the mutual and I got to know one another. It was nice. All these years, I wasn't sure if we'd ever had a full on conversation, but here we were, chatting like besties. It felt warm and familiar. When we parted, he said he'd hit me later and I agreed.

As I drove away, I got that little tingle I hadn't gotten in ages. I wasn't too focused on either guy, but I'd started to wonder if I was in a healthy head space to actually embrace the dating scene again. My boundaries are stronger than ever, and I genuinely enjoy being alone, for the first time, more than I enjoy having someone in my space, breathing up my air. Maybe I'm finally in a good frame of mind to take this on again?

Next up, I drove to a venue to see someone who is quickly becoming one of my favorite people. *Le sigh* A couple of homegirls met me there and we danced until the lights came up. Later on, favorite person, a girlfriend, and myself descended on R. Thomas and more conversation happened. It felt so familiar to get home at 4am. I haven't had a night like that in forever. 

On Saturday, I'd pondered so much on the night before. The fun. Creating great memories. Spending time with so many of my favorite people and making plans for more nights like it. Unfortunately, I had to drop a grip to fix a plumbing problem at my home, but I consider myself blessed to be able to handle the repair. It was from an old, rusted pipe, that I was told a year ago would be an issue. I was hoping to be able to get another year or two from it, but time just wasn't on my side.

Know what? I was about to write about some encounters I'd had with a few exes on Saturday, but somehow I realized that it wasn't important. My refusal to deal with weak ass attempts really isn't as interesting as it used to be. I'm concerned and focused on my growth. My ideas. My spirit. My healing, and my journey.

And right now, I'm exited that my journey is taking me in a new direction. I'd met with my cousin on Saturday, and he's helping me to put together the planner that I want, and we looked at how much it will cost to print, while he puts the finishing touches on it. That's what I need and that's what I want to do. I want to accomplish something. I want to touch my own product in my hands and work to put it out there to help others. This is good for me. 

I also finally found a place that's willing to host my women's support groups, for no charge, they're only asking that we by coffee or food, and we're allowed to use the space. Once I finish writing this blog, I have to put together the information for the people who own the space. That's two projects down, and a million more to go. I'm starting out this year with a bang. 

It's about damned time.

New Year, Same Journey

My inner horndog thought that by the time the clock struck 12, I'd be wrapped in some sheets with some stunning man and getting my back blown out. But after the last dude started trying to pull the mind games at the end of November, I knew that I'd be going into the New Year by and for my damned self, and I was beyond okay with it.

My work schedule has changed up, allowing me to engage in more Atlanta nightlife, and I really missed this scene. I'm sure at some point, I'll scale back. But for now, I'm enjoying getting to run into the friends I hadn't seen in forever, exploring new venues, and reminiscing in old ones. Wild to think that I was with these people, in these same streets, 2 full decades ago.

During my last visit with my therapist, she pointed out to me that I have so many major goals to focus on, yet I'm not really focused on any one. Ugh. I hate it when she's right. I stumbled upon an ADHD planner, which I decided to purchase. I dig it, and it comes in handy. I'm also trying way harder to be more intentional about using it every day, and it has some perks. But there are certain things I wish it contained, to satiate my lil old ADHD brain. So I'm considering putting one together. I've also had a few ideas for some stories that I'd like to work on.

So going into this year and walking away from the concept of dating and sex, I'm fully able to focus on my creative endeavors. I have a few trips that I'm planning for 2026, and I'm really excited about that as well. I started out doing well eating in a healthy manner, but I ran into an old homegirl last night, at a coffeehouse, and she managed to drag me to a bar. Whatever yo, the sushi was banging, but I'm back on the wagon today.

Honestly, I'm not quite sure what I expected from this post. No major developments. Just a newfound enjoyment of my life and my solitude. And a strengthened desire to focus on my creativity and to finally learn how to sit my ass down and make money from it.