Last year, after Ali died, I knew that I had to take some time for myself before I started working again. It was almost like having to learn how to breathe again. Part of that time out was my dedication to finally finish writing my first book. There had been so many changes in the past year and some change since I'd started it, it only felt right that my cousin, Paperboi Pimpen (as he called himself, being a writer) would be the one to inspire me to finish my work.
I'd tried to chip away at it, but life just wasn't working that way. Taking much needed time off to work on my great masterpiece while grieving and healing just felt right. I initially made a goal of writing roughly 300 words a day. Every now and again, I surpassed that number, although 300 remained my goal. The book is for Black women, utilizing Eastern philosophy to live their best lives and I'm pretty proud of it, although I think that I may need to add a bit more to it.
I submitted it to my mother's friend, who is a publisher. I hadn't heard anything for a while, to the point that I'd almost forgotten about it. Then when I did remember it, since I hadn't heard anything in a while, I considered finding my own publisher. Little did I know then that finding a good publisher is far harder than writing the book. People often complain about the difficulty of writing a book, which I'm here to tell you is utter horseshit. Finding a publisher is way harder. After spending an afternoon fruitlessly looking for a local, Black owned book publisher that fit my niche book was not nearly as easy as I'd assumed. I wrote down a few things to possibly look into, but nothing panned out. I decided to just to wait to hear back from mom's friend instead.
The friend finally hit me up yesterday. I was done with work for the day and so excited to hear her thoughts. I told her that even if she didn't find the book to be up her alley, I hoped to hear her thoughts anyway. She told me that she really appreciated the book and enjoyed how in depth I went in explaining Buddhism in layman's terms. She went on to say that she also appreciated that the book was geared towards Black women. I was excited. Then she broke to me that her publishing company focuses mainly on Christian works, so she felt that it wouldn't be a good fit for them. Shucks. On a good note, she said that she felt that her editor (who is also a publisher) would possibly like it and she agreed to pass it on.
That really motivated me to stay hopeful that this book may see the light of day at some point after all. In the midst of all that, while I was proud that my book was aimed at Black women, I decided that I wanted to give the same support to women overall, regardless of race. I had an idea to do a book about feminism and Eastern philosophy, but of course, I plan to put my Malika spin on it. Much like my last book, once I got the title for the idea, it almost started to write itself. I'm genuinely excited about this next book. I also love how my leap into observing and studying patriarchy is inspiring me to help other women lead their full lives, regardless of how they've been told they are supposed to live.
I'm out of training at my new job now, so my hours will allow me to write during the day (my most creative time) and work in the evening. Another blessing is that I had to buy an ignorant amount of books to research for my last piece, so I'll have plenty of research sources once I get into the heart of this new book. I before I even knew I'd be starting my new job, I decided to turn my home dining room into an office. I guess it was nesting, before I knew I was nesting. But now that I actually work in the office, I can't really write there. I have tons of work equipment cluttering the area, and I spend so much time the for actual work, it's lost it's creative zeal. I mean, I'm thankful to have such a bright and sunny work office, but it no longer inspires me to write. So back to the coffeehouses I go. There are far worse situations to be in.
On a relatively sucky note, I'm not going back to L.A. for the Halloween party after all. My connect on the party learned that her friends have been leaning toward attending a massive party in Beverly Hills on Sunday instead, which she and I both cannot do, because we both have to get our kids to school that following morning. But on a good note, one of my favorite local night clubs will be hosting a fun Halloween party that Saturday night. I mean, I was really looking forward to hitting L.A. again, but my funds are depleted and I really need to start focusing on saving more money. I was ready to sacrifice for my bucket list item, but no need to spend the coins if it isn't for something over the top.
I'm glad the weather has changed. I tend to do better at writing when things slow down. All I want to do this time of year is cuddle up with an oversized sweater and post up in a coffeehouse with my laptop while I tap to my heart's content. The local coffeehouses in my area are so cute and offer a nice little retreat, which is all I need at the moment. I also intend to start planning for the lifestyle brand that I've been toying with. This feels amazing. I'm inspired, with no major stressors. I've got some major projects to undertake. My book, in addition to working with some local leaders to increase awareness of fentanyl testing strips, in honor of Andrea. She'd be so proud of me. I miss her.
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