I've always been a bit of a hippy. And I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. That said, a few years back, early in my time at Clark Atlanta, I was speaking with a man. He said that I seemed like the kind of woman who would attend a particular school out in California. I'll call it Stansbury (an ode to Jesse Spano from Saved by the Bell). Anyway, he said that I would fit in well in the Stansbury crowd, being that I was a bit of a hippy. I had no idea what he meant, but I did go home and look up Stansbury at some point. It looked nice.
Fast forward some years and during one of my road trips, I happened to end up on the Stansbury campus as I looked for a used music store in the area. I loved it! I stepped into a used bookstore that had that "old book" smell, books stacked to the ceiling, graced by long rolling ladders, for anyone brave enough to climb them. I felt so at home. I imagined calling myself one of the students. I saw myself staying up late during study sessions with peers, debating among scholars. I saw myself studying in local coffeehouses. I told myself that I wanted a PhD in African American Studies from this school. Crazy enough, I didn't even know if Stansbury offered a PhD in Af Am Studies, but the fantasy floated in my head anyway.
While walking through the massive campus, I pulled out my phone to look up if my imaginary program existed there. It did! I looked it up a bit more, before deciding that as a single mother who barely made enough to cover bills from month to month, attending Stansbury was simply not in my future.
A few more times during my excursions to California, I would again stop at the Stansbury campus. Always falling in love again. Enjoying the book stores and loving watching the people, but accepting that it simply would never be my fortune. I didn't have the money, the connections, and frankly, at the time, I didn't have the desire. My master's degree from Clark Atlanta absolutely wore me out! But I always kept the fantasy of Stansbury in the back of my mind. Would today be the day? No. A girl can dream though, right?
Anyway, a few years back, I considered attending classes at Emory University, which was in my old neighborhood. I decided against it once I read how lonely the experience tended to be for Black students. I happened to be on the Emory Campus the other day, when I was reminded of my love of academic environments. I was even triggered to share with my friend how I'd previously had day dreams of obtaining a PhD in AfAm studies at Stansbury.
I decided to share on Facebook that if the stars aligned, I'd hoped to obtain my desired educational ticket from the esteemed school. I was really just talking shit, ya know, discussing the maybes. And suddenly, an old chum starting razzing me, the way he always has. I knew that he was just being goofy, but someone looking in may not know the difference. I was surprised to see how many people countered my friend by telling me to go for my dreams.
One of the women even did her own post and tagged me in it, encouraging me to reach for the stars and to apply to the college. I couldn't believe it. Maybe they were right, maybe I should actually reach for this. I'm counting down until my son is out of high school. In 3 and a half years, he'll be off to college. And I'll be back to California. Ideally, I plan to live in Los Angeles for a spell. But afterwards, I dunno.
The more I thought about it, the more I felt like it may just really be a possibility. I looked up the prerequisites for the program and saw that I have many of them already, particularly, work and experience in Africana studies. I went to an HBCU, where I obtained a Master's degree in Social Work, it doesn't get much more Black than that. Plus I put together a food pantry that serves the students of the Atlanta University Center, and the pantry is still in operation today. Add to that my book that's currently being shopped to a publisher, a book who's primary audience is Black woman, coupled with a social media presence that is geared to the same group.
I can't believe that I'm actually getting excited about all of this. I'd love to take a peek at the campus for a few days, but with me starting this new job soon, I won't have the availability to do that just yet. One thing I'm so appreciative of is that my former boss gave me a lot of grace as it came to traveling when I first got out of school. I later found that many bosses were not quite so gracious. It'll be a few years before I have the kind of rapport with a boss that will allow me to float around as I'd like. I was considering taking a trip to this campus this upcoming summer, and I still might, but I was planning for a birthday cruise, and naturally, my son has invited himself. Perhaps I'll be able to do both and bring him to the Stansbury campus as well.
I was considering to myself that I may never get married if I make this pilgrimage. The beautiful thing is that I don't even care. I've been unmarried this long, nbd. If nothing else, I have consistently found that attaching myself to men has hindered my educational, professional, and entrepreneurial endeavors. If I have to be alone to achieve this goal, so be it.
I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm doing it. Goals, yo.
No comments:
Post a Comment