Neuropathy

I recently disclosed that this stupid diabetes is rearing its ugly head again. I can't be mad, this is my own effing fault. I sometimes do an amazing job of keeping things together. Other days, this is a kick in the teeth. Of course the holidays didn't make things better. But overall, I've done well. I've been running and walking through my  neighborhood and sometimes through the park. My diet has been better.

So imagine my surprise when I felt this warm sensation shooting through my leg? I was at work, at my desk, where I often keep a space heater at my feet to stay warm. Except, I looked up and the space heater was nowhere near my leg. That's odd. A bit later, I felt it again, in the same leg. Random warmth. Yesterday, while wearing sweatpants, my leg felt so warm, I felt like the sun was shining directly onto it. Except it wasn't. I was wearing black sweatpants. But it was still warm. I gave up and gave Google a spin. I saw a few things linked to diabetes. Fuck.

This morning, I decided to talk to a nurse in my building. I told him my symptoms and he said to me "it sounds like neuropathy." He then explained "neropathy is the body's way of telling you that you're at a breaking point with your diabetes. If you keep going the way you're going, you'll be at a point of no return. You have to cut out pretty much everything. Salt, sugar, all of that." I was crushed. What? Huh?

What scared me the most is the fact that I've seen other people die from diabetes. Its a long, nasty, painful process. Not even painless, open wounds, amputation, strokes, all kinds of shit. And there lies my life, potentially. *sigh* Fuck.