Saturday, July 6, 2013

Friend Zones

As stated, I made a new friend "Chaz" a few weeks ago. He's lovely. Sexy as all hell, funny, charming, good looking, insightful, warm, honest. Things that would make him an incredible friend. So despite the obvious sexual tension between us, I told him I think we'd be best as platonic friends. Sure, there are moments when I imagine what it would be like to do inappropriate things to him, but with each day those moments are fewer, and I settle into how much I adore his friendship and I always look forward to seeing him again. I also love that he lives close to me while so many of my friends live further out.

I guess its a sign of my growing maturity to not automatically feel it necessary to bed an attractive guy just because I can. It also goes to show how much I value friendship because I don't want to get it in one time and then lose a good friend. It reminds me of another situation I was in a while ago. I was chatting with a homegirl and somehow we started to talk about a good friend of mine I'll call Mike. Mike and I have tons in common but he friend zoned me early on. I was hurt, but I accepted it and he and I became like brother and sister. For some stupid reason I let my friend convince me that Mike's friendship was destined to be more and I followed her advice. I ended up making things uncomfortable between us by trying to push up on him and reading too much into his behavior. Thankfully things got better, but it was certainly a strange period for us.

Then there is my friend Larry. Larry and I met back in high school when he was dating one of my best friends. Larry and I were thick as thieves early on and periodically he and I would lose touch, but we'd always eventually find our ways back to one another. I'm blessed that through the miracle of Facebook, Larry and I have managed to recently reconnect after years of being apart. As we reconnected, he told me about some issues he's had and admitted that he's lost some good female friends in his day by letting his libido get the best of him. I then jokingly mentioned the make out session he and I had while I was in college, but I didn't want things to suffer so I said no. He said that he's glad I said no because I'd probably hate him if we'd gone all the way. I bet he's right. He even admitted to being a "slimeball" at the time and said that looking back it was best that things didn't go that way.

I've always been a girl that had a lot of people around me. I guess its safe to say that I'm popular. And yes, while going through my seasons of "no sex" it would be easy to push up on the males that surround me. But I've learned to not do that. Because I'd rather hold their hands than to have another broken heart.

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