Monday, July 1, 2013

Baptism to Newness

Its not a secret that I'm ready to do something new and exciting. Grad school starts in less than 2 months and I'm feeling and looking like a million bucks. I had a barbecue for my birthday and was so excited to see so many people I love in my home. I've wanted to have a gathering in my home for the last 4 or 5 years and my ex really wasn't into that kind of thing. It was so nice to look up and see my friends enjoying themselves and each other. Seeing them like that just reminded me again of how blessed I am to have this kind of life. Some people resent their lives, however I wake up every day and thank the Universe for granting me the blessing of being me. It sounds conceited but whatever.

Thirty-two was such a horrific year that I knew that 33 would be an absolute blessing and I've made every attempt at making it so.

So anyway, like I said before, I met a hot guy on my birthday. He and I are just homies, but I adore him. I feel such a close connection to him. I feel that in some cosmic way, we're meant to be in one another's lives. I feel that meeting him (I'll call him Chaz) was a part of the Higher Power completing the work in my life that I needed done. Anyway, I needed some advice and he refused to give it to me. As we sat in a coffeehouse I urged him to answer my question. He refused. On the way home, I asked again. He finally said it. He blurted out that my problem is that I think too much (true!) and that I give off a high sexual energy (also true!). I was floored. I think he expected me to get all sensitive and in my feelings. I smiled at him. I thanked him and hugged him. He smiled back.

That night while at my regular watering hole, a friend (half) jokingly said to me that he believes I'm addicted to sex. While I certainly wouldn't call myself a nympho (or even a woman of loose sexual morals), I did have to admit to myself that whenever sex enters my sphere, I lose most of my brain cells. I knew it was officially time for me to rechannel my energy. I decided that the best thing to do would be to start exercising away some of my frustration. My plan was to start jogging again once my son started back in school, but I decided that there was no real need to wait. I laced up my sneakers, grabbed my iPod and hit Piedmont Park.

I'd forgotten how much I missed the clarity that exercise brought. I felt my limbs loosening up and enjoying the walk/jog as much as the rest of me did. I again reflected on what Chaz said about my sexual energy. Every time I thought about sex, I started to pick up the pace. I wanted sex out of my mind so I ran it out. I thought about how much I'm so thankful for the many blessings in my life and how I couldn't wait to start my journey into graduate school. I smiled as I felt the warm sun on my back as I allowed myself to get lost in my thoughts in a way I hadn't allowed in a long time. I thought about my life and my journey and the people around me and how much they inspire me.

I also looked forward to seeing the new addition to Piedmont Park. I jogged around and found it. It was smaller than I'd thought it would be, but still I enjoyed it. I stayed in my thoughts and smiled at passersby as I circled the area. I looked at the clock and realized I was nearing time for me to get ready for work so I headed for the exit only to find a disturbing thing. Within the 10 minutes that I was there, the sprinkler had somehow broken, so the same dry way I came in was now shooting water into the air, bathing everyone brave enough to cross it.

While water isn't a huge thing for me, those that know my hair struggles know that water is not my friend unless I'm about to tackle my long locks with some shampoo, hair clips and patience. I sat back and examined the small geyser. I looked for a way around it to find none. I decided then that it was time.

I ran through the flowing water like a child on a hot summer day. I felt the water on my skin (and my hair) bathing me in newness and excitement. I felt all of the bad energy and fears and memories wash away from me. I laughed at the worries that plagued me and ran into what I knew would become a newer and happier and more peaceful Malika.

I went for a jog and ended up with the kind of Baptism that only mother nature knows I needed. (I'd also like to note that the Universe was also kind enough to keep my hair in place).

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