So I’ve made the foray into dating again. It’s been slow, but gradual. I don’t think I’m ready for anything serious, but I’d like someone around to at least cuddle with. There have been a few moderately promising interactions, but they’ve all been a bust. I’ve been so hesitant and nervous to date that it takes me forever and a day to decide if a guy is someone that I should begin to trust. And then, it seems to never fail, he does or says something stupid that leads me back to the drawing board.
The good thing is that I’m okay with it this time around. I guess its because I’ve been through the ringer so much that I’m hesitant to go falling in love anyway. For example, there is Eddie, a guy that I met at my homie’s party this summer. He was the deejay at the party and we took well to each other early on. I asked my friend if he was cool and my friend said that he couldn’t think of a single bad thing to say about Eddie. I wanted to pursue things then, but I was still living with Pookie and didn’t want to ruin things with him buy going for him when I wasn’t mentally or physically able to. Eddie and I stayed in touch with the occasional Facebook message about once a month, but I remained distant.
Once I was into my own place I hit him up and asked if he’d like to get together one day. We ended up getting sushi and had a pretty good time. We talked about music, kids, the past, the future, the whole bit.
A week afterward, he and I agreed to meet up at a club we both frequent to see our mutual friend. A girlfriend of mine happened to fall through after a horrible date she’d just been on. She was clearly pissed off and I tried my best to be there for her as she and I are both reentering the dating scene at the same time. My friend Sky joked with her about her date, as did I. But Eddie didn’t. As a matter of fact, he acted irritated every time she came around. Granted, my friend can come across as spoiled, but she’s a good friend of mine and I felt that the very least I could do was to listen to her and engage her as well. Hell, Eddie could have done the same damned thing.
Later, the communication that he and I had became more and more distant. I don’t know what happened, but I don’t really care. I tried a few times to text him and see how things were going and his responses got shorter and his text messages took longer and longer to get back to me. Old Malika would have tried hard to maintain contact with him and at least stay friends. But after another idiot that pissed me off recently made me realize that there isn’t much point in staying friends with everyone I come across. Truthfully, I know a lot of people and don’t feel the need to collect more.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- I’ve got enough friends. It’s true. Two of my best friends are women I’ve hung out with since middle school, nearly 20 years ago. So, this time around, there is no more hanging on for whatever reason. Simply put, I’ve got enough of my own problems, no need to hang on to someone elses’.