many of my home girls are having the same problem. so many of them are wrapped up with guys that are making them crazy. they'll be with a guy and love him, nurture him, screw him, and spoil him for years and he STILL doesn't know who or what he wants. i'm giving all of my girls the same advice. tell him straight up: SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT. we give them too many choices. if my time with david taught me anything, its that women need to reclaim our power. in all aspects of nature the male animals fight with other males for the love, affection, and mating rights of the female. how did american women get that twisted? i learned after 10 years of giving david the best sex of his life, driving him around and spoiling his ass, i realized that we lived the life of a married couple, but he didn't want to commit fully. i told him that we needed to take the plunge and seriously progress things or it needed to end. and when i cut things off he called me, texted me, called my friends to ask about me, bought dvds that he knew i wanted and texted me to invite me to watch them with him. all of that, and his ass still wasn't trying to move it forward with me.
i hate myself for allowing that bastard to take so much from me spiritually, sexually, and emotionally. if that crap with him taught me nothing else, it taught me the importance of walking away when i need to. i walk away from men, friends, family. it doesn't matter.
but back to men. when women claim our sexuality we understand that we shouldn't give all of ourselves to any man. and once we do make that mistake, we need to be willing to leave. it amazed me how david was calling and texting ME. 10 years of calling me fat and unworthy and once i wanted to leave, he was begging me to stay. and i obviously made the wrong choice of falling back into dealing with him again. i should have left and STAYED gone. but i let him claim my power.
now on to deen. i love him. i do. and to say otherwise would be to lie. and after a few transgressions i've packed my shit, my son, and left. and i meant to stay gone. love or not, i was and am NOT going to be a victim again. he professed his love. he apologized and straightened up. i'll give a man all of the room in the world, but in the end when a woman really wants a man to do right, she needs to be willing to walk away and not look back. and once she leaves, he's either going to realize that he needs to straighten up or he's going to let her go because he didn't love her to begin with. but either way, women need to let these guys know that they can't have it all. they are either going to come home or stick with the skeezers out in the streets. (david picked the skeezer THANK GOD). i gained so much respect when kim porter left puffy. he came home and all of her crap was GONE. her, the twins, her clothes, shoes, toothbrushes, hairweaves, all GONE. and in an interview when asked about it, she explained that he's the kind of man that you have to show, not tell. and she showed him her ass. i want to shake her hand because of that.
so anyway ladies, i'm done. just remember yall, stop letting the guys call the shots. when you tell him its over (even if you don't plan for it to be so) , let it be over. no phone calls, no text messages, no nookie. we need to reclaim our power and stop letting these guys half ass us in relationships. would you want some dude like david to warm your bed for 10 years only to lie and play head games with you? i didn't think so.