Patio and Wine

So in refraining from dating, I've had a lot of time to reflect. What I want, what I don't want. Mistakes I've made, mistakes I've allowed others to make at my expense. I think in some ways, it allowed me to grow way outside of my shell and really decide upon the woman I want to be as I move forward.

I've got a friend I'll call Curtis. Curt and I have known one another for some years now. He's always made me laugh and feel secure. We've shared our dating experiences with one another and asked for insight on multiple occasions, growing a lot closer in the process. Curt has been telling me about how things haven't gone well in his his most recent relationship, although he's trying hard to make things work.

He's expressed frustration that in his own home, he can't simply turn on the tv and watch television, because despite the size of their home, there's another person constantly posted up. He expressed that he'd like to be able to watch the game and enjoy a beer, without all of the extra mess.

That really got me to thinking. That as I've worked to determine what I'd like and what would constitute peace for me, what does my happy look like? I'm leaving my former job, which it turned out was quite a toxic environment for me. I'm thankful for what I learned there, but towards the end, I suffered terribly. I recall how the day before my last official day of work, I literally sat in my car and cried. I'd gotten to the point of sleeping sometimes 12 full hours at night, the result of being emotionally exhausted by the time I got home.

While chatting with Curt about ultimately what I wanted, it hit me. All I wanted at the end of the day, was to come home and enjoy a quiet glass of wine on my patio. That's it. I don't want or need bells and whistles. I don't need to be a superstar. I'm cool with a job that is ultimately just a peaceful experience. At the end of the day, I just want to sit out on my patio, light a candle, pour a glass of wine, throw on some soft music, and enjoy my own company, or perhaps the company of another person with comparable end of the day goals. 

My patio and a glass of wine. Sounds nice.