It Finally Hit Me

I swear I feel so old lately. I'm sitting here at work in my khaki shorts and sweater (because I work in a building that feels like the Arctic Circle in the middle of August), combing an Anthropologie catalog. I've been on my reflective/old lady ish lately. I'm surprised how much I'm enjoying this. I'm enjoying this subdued life. I think its because I did so much when I was younger, and had so much energy, that I'm more than okay just sitting home and just being.

Yeah, I compared myself to Maya Angelou. What of it?! Anyway, I found myself in my head (yes, AGAIN!) the other day. This one wasn't about Pete though. Well, not as much anyway. I started reflecting on my journey. I mean seriously, it's been a hell of a ride so far. Between my education, my diverse friends, my rambunctious son, the many lovers and loves I've had. My journey has been pretty effing fun. That's when it really freaking it me- none of this would have happened if I'd stayed with my ex, David. Holy shit!

All that time begging, pleading, planning, being mad, hurt, angry, et cetera, et cetera! The woman that I am, the strength, the wisdom, the understanding, the compassion, the bullshit meter, it all came from loving and being let go by the wrong damned man! Like, I'm legitimately THA SHIT because I went through that. I never would have imagined 12 years ago, when I was at my breaking point, that I'd look up and be this wonderful confident woman that I am!! I have so much peace and insight into my life!

I look at who and what I'd be if I was still with him. I look at the opportunities I would have missed out on. So maybe, just maybe, things really do work out for the best in the end. At least they did for me!