Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Crazy Blind Hopeful Faith

I recently found myself  at a barbecue of a friend's relative when I saw an attractive woman, in her mid 30's walk in. It wasn't long before the woman found herself at my table when she and I started talking. I was more than enthused when I learned that the woman was about to enter her junior year at the University of Georgia and majoring in both English and Public Relations. I was thrilled to speak with her since those two topics are two of my favorites. I asked the woman if she hoped to write for a living, and naturally, she stated yes.

I told her that in my experience of graduating in Media Studies from Kennesaw State University, she needed to begin a blog and start working now to create a buzz for herself and get some experience writing for the internet. I told her that the competition is fierce and that as a middle aged woman who had not worked in 16 years, because she was married at the time, the work force is a new monster to contend with. The woman looked at me like I had a third eyeball in the middle of my forehead and assured me that she was not worried about getting a job upon graduation completion because she knows someone at a local television station. I told her that while optimism is a great thing to have, she also had to keep in mind that damn near everyone knows someone in media already and she was reminded that they'd all be trying to get their resume in there through someone they know. I also reminded her that she'd be contending with kids in their early 20's while she'd be knocking on 40 and those kids grew up in an age where she was just getting acclimated to. With what she had working against her, it was that much more important to be getting a solid portfolio together while still in school.

The conversation then shifted as she talked about her sudden separation from her husband of 16 years and how although she was caught off guard with it, she remained hopeful about getting married in the future. I told her that although I see myself dating and possibly getting married in the future, I've seen enough from men to know that I'll never trust another one 100% and that women need to always have some money to the side and an exit strategy in case the shit hits the fan one day. She again looked a me as if I were a horribly disfigured creature and told me she's seen too many happily married people to believe that most men are capable of the worst.

I couldn't believe it. I was absolutely dumbfounded. No seriously, I'd just found something dumb. Here was a woman that after 16 years of marriage is in the work force and hoping to get married and despite being nearly 40, had no clue about life. I mentioned that respected her optimism, but I maintain the notion that one should hope for the best, but always be prepared for the worst. She responded that she operated by "hope" not optimism because optimism is "choosing to believe the best" while hope is "knowing that the Spirit will cover you." Excuse me, but I don't think I've ever heard such ignorant horseshit in my life. I'm all for Christianity and all, but I doubt God would have you ignore sage advice about your career choice because you magically expect things to work out in your favor if you pray on it long enough. I can only imagine how many prayers a Higher Power must listen to on an hourly basis from recent and not so recent college graduates. Lord knows I've sent up a few myself when I was going out and interviewing.

 My inner Gemini tried to make this make sense, but I couldn't. Because it didn't. This woman found herself alone and going back to school after 16 years of being a stay at home mom and she had the gall to look at me like I don't know a damn thing about career or love? Bitch please. Or as a Christian woman would say- Bitch please. Eventually I made my way to another table with people that had a bit more realism to themselves and I shared a social worker story with a man who told me about things he'd done in the field that could have gotten him killed, and I told about a girl who called me because she wanted me to pick her up from her pimp while he was out. I didn't go because, well, because I didn't want to get cut or killed, but that's another story for another blog entirely.

I don't know, I've been hearing myself be described by others as "jaded" lately and perhaps they're right. I'm not the same bright eyed and bushy tailed girl I was 15 or 20 years ago and perhaps its for the best. I think that my keen eye and shrewd sense of dealing with people that haven't earned my trust yet has put me in a place where I'm a lot more comfortable pursuing the various financial situations that I have in front of me. And I'm actually excited about being comfortable enough to go into the world and rightfully claim my place as a woman who deserves respect and clout. And what I'm not given, I'm going to get regardless. Because I don't believe a spook in the sky is gonna hand me shit.

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