Sunday, October 18, 2009

Trashy Lingerie, Raunchy Sex, and Vulnerability

Today my friend asked me to come with her to buy some sexy undies that her hubby would appreciate. I've always considered underwear shopping to be the girliest thing on the planet that a women can do together so I jumped at the chance for us to bond over bras and panties.

I actually arrived at Macy's before she did so I walked up the counter and said "Show me something nasty." The sales girls laughed at my bluntness.

My homegirl arrived shortly thereafter and I showed her the bras, panties, short skirts, and hosiery I thought would look nice on her. We looked through it for a while but my friend and I couldn't quite agree on what she should get.

I thought she'd look nice with a sexy lace bra and a skanty (skirt & panty combo) and garter set with some sexy thigh high stockings. My friend wasn't willing to go quite that far in her selection. Personally, I think that when it comes to sexy time with the hubby, there's nothing wrong with taking it to the next level. I wanted to punch my friend in the throat for saying that she's too big to wear the good stuff. She isn't big at all. But she still wanted something more tame.

I reminded her how much her hubby loved that she'd finally put on a few more pounds. I even suggested that perhaps they should take a day to go shopping together so she could know what he likes. She told me that she already knows what he likes, she just doesn't agree with it. The more I suggested that there's nothing wrong with looking like an S-L-U-T, the more she wanted the tamer stuff. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I'd brought my little munchkin and she'd brought her 3-year-old daughter so rather than me managing to say all of the naughty words that I'd normally say, I had to spell and whisper all of the fun words. Do you know how boring a conversation about sex is, when you have to spell out all of the dirty words?

Anyway, I'd started to feel that perhaps my friend's shyness kept her from fully getting dirty. I'm not allowed to really get into my own sex life here {damned censors!!} but I can say that that well, its AWESOME!! And a big part of what makes it awesome is my comfort level with him, and his with me. He thinks I'm lying when I say this, but he really is better than the ex I was with for 10 years. Its better because there's no competition, and I'm free to really enjoy it. Sex isn't a weapon, its a beautiful, dirty, free expression of love. And its GOOD. There's no hiding who and what I am. I can be vulnerable and trust him to love me the way I am. There is something so awesome about two people being able to open up sexually and just let go.

I really wanted my friend to get to that level of comfort with her husband. I knew that if she allowed herself to give more, she just may enjoy it. My personal motto is that I'll try damned near anything once. Its gotten me pretty far already, so maybe it would work for her. Not only that, although I didn't say it, I was thinking it. Y'all know the saying- whatever you won't do in the bedroom for your boo, somebody else will. I didn't want to plant a seed of doubt in my friend's head and make her all self-concious, because honestly, I think her husband is an upstanding, honest husband. He loves her and their child and I can't see him stepping out. But let's be honest here, many men have stepped out for being unfulfilled in their sex lives. I don't want to speculate on their sex life because it could seriously be off the chain. However, if she's afraid to show a little tummy, she's probably holding out in other areas also. I knew that bringing out her inner slut would open up not only her sex life but her level of comfort and her awareness of her own inner beauty.

So now, because I love her, my goal is to make her reach her maximum level of comfort. By making her dress like a W-H-O-R-E.


Kingsmomma said...

LOL. I agree. Sex is the Greatest when you have full intimacy. Bring the Whore in yuor friend out NOW...Just how did she think she got that little munchkin?

CamE said...

Sex is one of the best things that God created. So for a person to be free in their sexuality they should feel this way. But you know as women we are told that sex is taboo and only for marriage. That's why you have a lot of women walking around unsatisfied with this part of their lives. As for your friend, she knows what her husband likes she should do it for him.

Rchelle said...

oh dear, why does something tell me that she rarely climax's. You have to be completely comfortable with you partner to have mind-blowing sex. period.

Next time yall go, remember alcohol is A key to coaxing out the whore within.

Anonymous said...

Sex is THE best thing on earth. THE best.Thank god this has never been my problem! Mine is hearing insults about my body months (or years) later because I am so open to being naked.. won't get into that here. You could be the best woman in the bedroom, and some men will still cheat. I have heard it that from many women.