Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Am I Becoming a Prude?

Last night, I caught up with a friend that I hadn't talked to in a while. I asked if he'd had any kids and he half-jokingly answered "none that I know of." I replied by stating how strange it is that many men answer the same question, the same way. He then said that he'd be lying if he said that he was sexually responsible in his youth, and I full heartedly agree about my own sexual indiscretions.

For some reason, I've been hearing about some of my friends sex lives lately and all I can think to myself is "SLOW DOWN!!" I may try to sugarcoat what I'm thinking, by calmly explaining that there's no need to drop trow with everyone that winks at you and pronounces your name correctly.

When did this become me? I try to keep a live and let live type of motto, but my freaky friends are getting harder for me not to pass judgement on and it really scares me. Its just that I care so much for my friends that I don't want any of them to get STD's or I don't want yet another female friend that hates her baby daddy. Condoms break and its possible to get herpes even with a condom.

I'm all for getting down and dirty with one person. I'm proud to say that my sex life couldn't be better, yet I've decided that once Pookie and I separate, I plan to go on a dating hiatus for a long while. I may still fool around with Pookie, and I may not. If he and I don't continue to fool around with him, I'll just have to put sex on hold. Its not that big of an issue. IT'S JUST SEX!!! I understand hormonally charged teenagers wanting to hump and be humped by everything they see, but for adults to be so wound up over getting their rocks off truly baffles me.

I guess their mentality is that of, if I want it, I'll have it and there's nothing wrong with that, because I am an adult. I feel like a parent pulling this one out, but here it goes anyway-

"Not everything that is good to you is good for you."

While I don't want to tell another adult how to run their life, I don't know how much longer I can be silent on the issue. Hearing my girlfriends spill the beans on how much they appreciate good dick and if some clown on the first date wants to give it up, then that's cool. Or another friend that religiously hops from relationship to relationship (part of me thinks its because he doesn't know how to be alone but that's for another blog), and he recently told me that after his recent breakup, he "just wants some pussy." *sigh* I offered to him that perhaps he should just stop having sex for a second and focus on making things right in other parts of his life. You'd have thought I said he should bite off his own right arm by the way he responded to that statement. He couldn't even explain why he needed sex, he just wanted it.

I've seen so many of my friends make major mistakes based on loose penis and cootchies. I've seen homegirls fall out, I've seen mother's neglect their children, I've seen marriages break up, I've seen people nearly fired, I've seen fights, scratched up cars, and broken hearts, all because of ass.

The funny thing is that now that I think about it, sex is almost like a drug for these people. If someone was constantly talking about how they had to get high, the world would suggest to them that they have a problem. Yet someone can constantly fiend for sex, and not enough people are willing to care enough to say "put the pussy DOWN!" Although truthfully, I don't think these people are sex fiends, they simply choose not to listen their grown up voice that tells them to go to sleep without an orgasm.

Perhaps I'm getting older. Maybe I am getting a tad more prudish- scratch that. I'm a grown woman now and I'm starting to understand the real meaning of responsiblity. Responsibility means that you don't have to hump somebody just because the opportunity presents itself. I don't want to judge or down my friends, I'd just like them to respect their bodies to the point where they don't feel it necessary to lay down with every idiot they come across. Is that too much to ask?


Kingsmomma said...

I'm not sure if it's age. I think people mature. Sex takes time and when you grow older and more mature you find that there are other things in life. Sex is incredibly carnal and we have to learn to curb those desires and that also takes time and experience.


I agree with Kingsmomma.

Wild Safari said...

The thing is people need to learn to see how the decisions they make in the sack carry over into the rest of their lives. If you have to have "your needs met" then get a lover. You don't have to move some immature leeching scrub into the house with your children, stay with a man who is killing your soul, or for the men add yet another babymother to the list. Just get a mature lover who is on the same page as you are about where you are taking your relationship (to the bedroom, the park, the elevator, etc). And keep it safe.

AK-RITE said...


Jaymi said...

I'm not sure I understand why, when condoms are cheap, plentiful, and in some cases free, there need to be "baby mammas" and "baby daddies" at all.